


Best Laid Plans

by flutterby_cupcake_26



Series: Fifty First Dates [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-07 16:05:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4269558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flutterby_cupcake_26/pseuds/flutterby_cupcake_26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Fifty First Dates/Date With An Angel. Dean and Castiel are pressing on with their plans for their wedding, when Gabriel throws a grace-shaped spanner in the works.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Castiel sat at the wooden table in the meeting room of the bunker, reading one of the many tomes that normally lined the walls. He slowly turned a page, the words not seeping in anyway. He was thinking, as he did all too often, about Dean. About how his fiancé had woken him up that morning, slowly kissing the soft skin of his inner thigh, unshaven stubble scratching along the sensitive stretch of skin. How Castiel had opened his eyes, already trembling, and immediately wound his fingers into his lover’s light brown hair. And Dean had laughed, a low sound that only exacerbated the situation, leaving Castiel like putty in his hands.

He blinked as he realised he was at the end of the book already. Nothing had gone in. He looked up gingerly, to where Dean was sitting nearby, looking at something on his computer, studying it intently. To look at the hunter, you would never have known that he had any deep feelings bubbling under the surface, or that he could even have been thinking at that moment in time. His eyes were glazed, his gaze trained on the screen in front of him, his brow furrowed in concentration but otherwise, he gave no hint to his mood.

Castiel knew that, if Sam and Becky were to walk in at that moment, they would assume that he and Dean were working, researching a case. Obviously, Castiel would have been elected to read up on forgotten lore, while Dean grappled with more recent, technological methods of research.

It was a half-truth.

Dean was watching a movie, one that Castiel had recommended to him. Dean rarely appreciated Castiel’s choice in movies, but Castiel was adamant he watch at least one wedding movie. Just one. Just so he knew all the elements needed to put a wedding together, since Sam and Becky had been so private about theirs. Dean had grudgingly accepted that he had to watch one, and Castiel had produced a list, which Dean had eyed warily. But he had made the decision, and refused to tell Castiel which one he was going to watch.

‘You’ll do that thing you do,’ Dean had growled.

‘What thing?’

‘The same thing you did when we watched that other chick flick you tricked me into. Where you ruin the whole plot and all the good dialogue five seconds before it’s on screen. You’d be the asshole waiting until Bruce Willis had gone to talk to his wife in the Sixth Sense to tell me he was a ghost all along, and how fucking obvious that was when he got shot at the start of the movie.’

‘I haven’t seen that movie,’ Castiel said uncertainly. Dean had shrugged, and lifted the lid of his laptop.

‘Spoiler alert: Bruce was a ghost.’

It was a trade-off, of sorts, because Dean had Castiel researching flowers, and their botanical properties, both good and bad. Castiel hated human research, he wanted to just know, to absorb the truth the way he used to be able to. So that next time he made a seemingly innocent statement like ‘Periwinkle flowers are pretty, don’t you think, Dean?’ he wouldn’t get an eye-roll at the suggestion, he’d get questions.

Dean hadn’t noticed that Castiel had already gotten to the end of the book, or that he was sitting there, watching him intently. Watching his fiancé. That word still seemed so magical. Castiel slid off his seat slowly, his gaze fixed firmly on his future husband. His first instinct was to walk behind the hunter, to graze his fingertips across those firm shoulders, to slide his hands gently down those muscular biceps, his head nuzzling against the man he loved, wrapping him in an embrace as he continued to watch his movie.

But then he had a better idea, one that Dean might appreciate more when he was already watching a wedding-related movie. Castiel slid under the table, and crawled as quietly as possible over to the mud-caked boots and sagging denim that Dean insisted on wearing. Castiel managed to avoid making contact until his head was level with his lover’s crotch. He reached for Dean’s belt buckle, and the hunter started, looking down below the table.

‘Cas?’

Castiel winked, hoping it looked alluring and not awkward, before he proceeded to undo the belt fastening. He maintained Dean’s eye contact as he moved forward slowly, kissing low down on his abdomen. Dean’s eyes fluttered, and Castiel refocused on his mission. He caught the zipper between his teeth, biting hard, and moved down, hoping that his efforts looked as sensual as he was aiming for as his nose caressed the bulge concealed by soft cotton. He heard Dean hiss between his teeth, and took that as a sign to continue. He pulled the zipper apart, as his fiancé rocked his hips slightly, either in anticipation or an attempt to be helpful. It gave Castiel the opportunity to wriggle his jeans slightly lower, to reach in past the denim and begin searching along the plain cotton boxers until he found the gap at the front, where he proceeded to pull Dean out, massaging the soft, velvety skin as he did so.

He heard another hiss, and felt one of Dean’s hands rub against his head, near his ear. He nuzzled against it as he started caressing around Dean’s penis, his fingertips rubbing, his palm cupping briefly before he pulled his fingers tight, their path undefined until he hit one particularly thick vein, which he traced from base to head and back again. Dean tightened his grip on Castiel’s head and pushed his own hand in the way, gripping himself tightly in a way that Castiel could see would be too difficult to prise off. Dean’s knuckles were maybe an inch from his eyes before the hunter began kneading himself. Castiel wasn’t going to be beaten, even if he now had to rush. He kissed the head of Dean’s penis, and licked the tip slowly, his tongue barely grazing the swollen skin.

‘Fuck.’ Dean breathed, and applied pressure to Castiel’s head. ‘Baby, just blow me.’

He forced Castiel’s head closer, his penis pushing past Castiel’s lips as Dean shifted in his seat once more. Castiel began bobbing his head up and down, his tongue dancing across Dean’s flesh as he found a rhythm that matched Dean’s ferocious hips. He could hear the thud of the table top above him, and wondered if Dean’s hand was hurting from where it was shielding his head from the wood.

The chair tipped back dangerously, and Castiel grabbed onto the front legs as Dean came down his throat, making him choke, while Dean let go and braced himself against the table, panting. When he got his breath back, he bent down and kissed Castiel’s hair.

‘I love surprise blow jobs.’ He muttered, just as they heard a scuffling outside the front door, echoing through the room. They paused for a moment, before Dean began stuffing himself back inside his jeans, and Castiel crawled out from under the table. He pointed wordlessly to his face and Dean smirked.

‘Not this time, you got it all.’

The door opened, and they heard footsteps on the iron-clad balcony, before Sam stuck his head over the bannister.

‘We’re back from our honeymoon!’ Becky sang out behind him, before he could utter a word. They started walking down the steps together, as Dean quickly ran a hand over Castiel’s hair, smoothing it down. He bent forward and straightened Castiel’s tie.

‘Your mouth is all puffy and red, like you stuck it in a bottle or something.’

‘Or sucked my fiancé’s dick.’ Castiel murmured back.

‘I love it when you talk normal,’ Dean wound his hands around Castiel’s hips, and Sam cleared his throat.

‘Come on, guys! It’s been sixteen months, how are you still horny like teenagers?’

‘Your brother is unbelievably attractive.’ Castiel turned to talk to his future brother-in-law, while stepping in closer to Dean. Sam rolled his eyes as Becky stepped forward, clutching a binder to her chest.

‘So, do you guys want to see our honeymoon pictures, or should we talk about your wedding?’

Dean let go of Castiel, stepping towards the kitchen.

‘Wine, Becky?’

‘No thank you, I’m driving. Sam will have a beer.’

Dean looked at Castiel for a moment, and then rolled his eyes rather than bothering to ask. When he left the room, Becky immediately began over-analysing her brother-in-law.

‘There’s not trouble in paradise already, is there? He’s still happy with you, isn’t he Cas?’

‘We’re fine, Becky. He always does that when it comes to alcohol. He wishes I would just be simple and drink beer.’

‘They’re more than fine, honey. I’d put money on the fact they were doing something just before we came in.’

Sam sat back in Castiel’s seat, looking tanned and well rested, and completely content. He cocked an eyebrow at Castiel, as though challenging the ex-angel, who gladly pointed to Dean’s laptop.

‘We were watching wedding movies,’ he exclaimed triumphantly. Sam’s raised eyebrow seemed to take on a skeptical tone. ‘What?’

‘My brother. Watching chick flicks. Willingly. What was the pay off? Or do I not want to know.’

Castiel blushed, and he knew whatever he said or did, Sam already had his number.

‘You know Castiel, if Dean does that whole “baby, have whatever you want!” nonsense and you need help making a decision over the dusty rose or watermelon, I’m your girl.’ Becky cut through the atmosphere with her usual bubbliness. ‘I have so much wedding stuff left over from the decisions I had to make, and well, Charlie’s not that much better than Dean at the girly stuff.’

Castiel hesitated, and gestured to the books in front of Sam.

‘That’s not a problem with us.’

Becky looked down at the binder that was still in her arms, her expression crushed.

‘I mean, Dean’s active in the wedding planning. Maybe too much.’ Castiel sighed, and gestured for the binder. Becky handed it over, and they sat together, opposite Sam, flicking through the magazine clippings that Becky had gathered over the years. ‘When he comes back with the drinks, ask him about having those colours.’

He carried on looking through the binder at the different wedding cakes and dresses that Becky had gathered together, and Dean came back in the room with two beers, a glass of water, and pale yellow drink that he set in front of Castiel.

‘Gimlet,’ he said before Castiel could ask. ‘We’re out of rum.’

Castiel nodded, and took a small sip as Dean distributed the rest of the drinks.

‘So, Dean,’ Becky grinned at her brother-in-law. ‘How’s the wedding planning going?’

‘Slowly,’ Dean shrugged, and sat back in his seat, clicking off the movie.

‘I was just asking Castiel what colours you were having.’

Dean shut the laptop lid.

‘Depends on what flowers we go for, I guess.’

Castiel could tell that Sam and Becky hadn’t expected the response they got. The ex-angel pursed his lips to prevent himself from smiling, knowing what was going to come.

‘What are your choices?’ Becky took the binder from Castiel, flicking through to the flower section. ‘I think lilies would be gorgeous, really simple. I mean, you don’t want it too feminine, right?’

‘I nixed lilies already. Association with death. Funeral flower. And I know, I know, everyone’s going to be mourning the fact that I’m off the market, but still, no lilies.’  
Becky looked around Castiel to Dean, and then flicked through the pages again.

‘Mexican poppies are gorgeous, and unusual.’

‘Is that one we looked up already?’ Dean asked Castiel, who sighed.

‘Yes. Witchcraft use.’

‘Then hell no.’

Castiel looked back at Becky and shrugged.

‘Over-involved.’

‘Wait, are you researching your entire wedding?’ Sam chuckled, leaning back in his chair.

‘He used to be an angel. Our family is cursed, and we’re hunters. What would you do Sammy? It’s like we’re baiting every demon and witch and ghoul out there. I’m not risking anyone, just because I said I’d marry Cas.’

‘Dean’s worried that someone will die at our wedding.’ Castiel summed up. Sam pulled one of the books that Castiel had been pretending to read, and flicked through it absent-mindedly.

’So, are there any possible options?’

’St John’s wort.’ Dean spoke with his mouth pressed against his beer bottle, which he then tipped back and began gulping down the contents. Becky flipped through her binder once more, and Sam sat back in his chair with the book, and Castiel grinned at Dean, who winked back. Neither of them were going to point out to Becky that Sam would probably help more with their wedding than he did with his own.

Castiel looked over Becky’s shoulder as she carried on with her binder, hoping for inspiration, and she leaned close to him in order to whisper in his ear.  
‘Cassie? You might want to check your face in the mirror. You got something on your cheek.’

Castiel closed his eyes in mortification. Dean had promised him that everything was fine. No wonder Sam had seemed so confident about what they’d been up to.

‘I’ll be right back,’ he muttered, and tried to walk slowly out of the room while shielding his face. And then he stopped walking, blinking in confusion. The dim green-and-beige walls of the bunker hallways had given way to wood panelling and red velvet seats, and a familiar woman standing nearby, smiling warmly at him.

‘Hello Castiel. Welcome back to Heaven.’

Castiel looked around, as though he would see the bunker behind him, but instead there was a blank panelled wall. He looked back at the brunette, who stepped forward and held out her hand.

‘Come. You have an appointment.’

‘An appointment? Hannah, they cut me off. Dean made them promise not to interfere with us.’

‘Heaven is under new management. And the instructions were clear, bring Castiel in for an appointment.’

She took his wrist, and led him along the thick carpeted hallway, pushing open one of the thick doors and tugging him inside.

‘He’ll be here with you soon. Please, relax. It won’t be long.’

With that, Hannah shut him inside the room, and Castiel knew without even trying that escape was futile. He wished that Dean were there with him, prepared to deal with whatever Heaven was about to throw their way, and protecting Castiel without a second thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there's not much to this yet! I've been having a lot of health issues, so I'm kind of celebrating being with it enough to have written as much as I have!
> 
> I looked up the plant stuff. God, my google looks so weird now, lol. Did you know hyacinths are the official emblem of homosexual love? I'm just putting it out there from a webpage I found that said so. Which was the flower of choice in the siren episode *coughs* not that the writers were saying anything about Dean, right?
> 
> Talking of Dean ... I've noticed in the few fics I've read, when Dean and Cas are planning a wedding, Dean is very hands off. And I thought, Dean's too much of a control freak for that shit to go down, he'd do exactly what he's doing in this chapter, and research everything wedding related.
> 
> So, anyway ... I have big ideas for this story. I hope you enjoy what's coming x


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel walked across the large room, looking around at the small side tables cluttered with various religious artefacts, and one that inexplicably held a vast collection of Busty Asian Beauties. In the far corner was a liquor cabinet, and Castiel wondered briefly if he was somehow in Dean’s version of Heaven. He debated sitting in a winged armchair, but if this was nothing to do with Dean, he wanted to be prepared for the inevitable. So far as he was concerned, Naomi might still want to kill him.

A door opened to the side, and someone stepped through. A shorter man, with a thick mane of dark blonde hair. He smirked as he looked at Castiel, who gaped back at him.

‘But … but … Lucif-’

‘Please! You think Lucifer even thought he killed me? Besides, it was a good excuse for me to re-enter my personal protection program.’ Gabriel crossed the room and sat on the edge of a varnished desk, looking over his angelic brother. ‘At least, until I heard that it had been a few years and no one had got their ass into gear. And I bumped into the wrong sibling, who dragged me back to Heaven. I think she thought I was going to get mine, but instead well, charisma won. And that Vibeke chick is rotting in Heaven’s jail.’

Castiel felt the punch in his gut at the mention of Vibeke.

‘So you’re in charge of Heaven?’

‘Who better than an archangel, right?’ Gabriel snapped his fingers, and Castiel found himself sitting in one of the winged armchairs anyway. ‘I heard you’re human now.’

‘Yes.’

‘Cassie,’ Gabriel reached forward and ruffled Castiel’s hair fondly. Castiel scowled. ‘Come on, it’s not like you to just take it. Why didn’t you fight for your Grace?’

Castiel looked away from his brother.

‘I guess I was picking my battles. There are things more important than my powers.’

Gabriel blew through loose lips, creating a raspberry sound, before he jumped up quickly, and busied himself by the liquor cabinet.

‘Heard about you and Winchester by the way. I should have put money on that inevitability. How’s Samsquatch?’

‘He’s happy. Married.’

‘Shame. I liked the idea of keeping it in the family. You know, I’ve been watching you the last few days, with Dean. I liked the floor show just before Sam appeared with the wife, nicely done.’

Castiel felt his whole body burning in shame.

‘You didn’t?’

‘If you ever want to be in a Casa Erotica, just say the word.’ Gabriel turned around, holding a martini glass in each hand and approaching his little brother. ‘I’m impressed that you swallowed. Here.’

He held out one of the martini glasses, and Castiel took it as a reflex, unable to meet his brother’s eye. Gabriel could clearly sense his shame.

‘Cassie, what’s the problem? Dean really enjoyed it. Like, _really_ enjoyed it. You were going for the long game and he rushed you to the home plate. You need to work on his pacing.’

‘Please, stop talking.’

‘He was biting his lip, trying not to blow too quickly.’

Castiel glared up at Gabriel, who smiled back endearingly, tipping his own martini glass towards Castiel as though he hadn’t just divulged details about the younger angel’s sex life.

‘Can you not talk about him like that?’

‘Oh, I know, he’s the absolute love of your life. Mazel tov on the impending nuptials, by the way. I’m going to assume my invite only hasn’t happened because you thought I was dead?’

‘You’re invited so long as you stop watching Dean and me.’

Gabriel rolled his eyes dramatically.

‘Fine, fine, I’ll stop watching. It’s not me who thought sex on the kitchen table, or Sam’s bed, or most parts of the Impala were a good idea-‘

‘Gabriel!’

‘Or in the shower, or on that light up map thing. And he loves giving head, doesn’t he?’

‘Do you want to be invited to the wedding?’ Castiel snapped, and Gabriel smirked, unflustered by Castiel’s rudeness.

‘Well, anyway, I thought we should have a toast. To you and Winchester.’

Castiel eyed his glass suspiciously, not joining in the toast.

‘What is this?’

‘Blue lagoon. Dean muttered in the kitchen earlier about you being a girl drink drunk, I figured you’d want to toast with a cocktail. You’re a classy lady like that.’

Castiel sighed. As irritating as his brother was being, there was no one like Gabriel, and he was glad to see the archangel alive and well. He lifted his glass up, ready for the toast.

‘To Cas and Dean. May you have many, many happy years together,’

The glasses connected, and Gabriel immediately sipped from his glass. Castiel carefully brought his back down, closer to his mouth, and then tried to sip. Instead, he felt his mouth widen around the rim as the contents of his cocktail forced their way down his throat. He let go of the glass, but it remained connected to his lip, and he scrambled to find purchase on the edge of the seat as his body reacted to whatever Gabriel had managed to get him to ingest.

He slumped on the floor when it finally finished crawling in, making him consume every molecule. And then he could feel a sensation similar to pins and needles, working its way through every cell of his being, the sensation growing more and more intense until it made his vessel rigid, and a bright white-blue light shone from every orifice for a matter of moments. And then it was gone, and Castiel lay with his head buried in the thick red weave of the carpet, eyes closed as though he could shut out the obvious truth. As though he couldn’t sense Gabriel, still standing so close, trying to communicate with him without words. As though he couldn’t feel his wings wrapped around himself, soft and tender and a bittersweet comfort. Gabriel crouched down beside him on the floor, slipping a hand underneath a wing and squeezing his little brother’s shoulder.

‘Sorry, Castiel. But I need all my good angels. And they weren’t fair to you. I figured if I asked, you’d pull a Winchester and tell me to shove your Grace up my ass.’ Gabriel rubbed his arm a couple of times, and then stood up. ‘But hey, it’s not all bad. I’ve tweaked it so you can eat your wedding cake.’

Castiel wished he could cry.

 

*

 

Castiel felt as though he had laid on Gabriel’s shag carpeting for hours, but when he finally opened his eyes, he was back in the bunker, laying on the bed he shared with Dean. He curled his fingers into the blanket and gripped on, willing his Grace to leave him, or for time to reverse so he could smack that drink out of Gabriel’s hand.

He was scared. Scared that Dean would leave him when he discovered that he was an angel again. After all, the last time he had been an angel, Dean had been screaming at him, breaking his heart. And even though it was more than a year before when it had happened, Castiel still worried that Dean would make that association, would end their relationship. Gabriel hadn’t given him the chance to explain it, why he would refuse his Grace. But then, maybe his brother had some awareness of what he felt, if Gabriel had indeed been spying on them the whole time.

“Cas?” Dean’s voice came from the doorway. Castiel could sense him coming into the room, his concern filtering through the air and being absorbed by Castiel’s Grace. All his senses, even his angelic ones, seemed heightened as he got used to the Grace again. “Cas, there was nothing on your face. I don’t get … are you okay?”

Castiel could feel Dean wincing from having to ask that. Could feel it like an extension of himself. What was he going to say? What could he say? He closed his eyes again, though it didn’t make the slightest bit of difference, he could still see Dean as he came into the room, closing the door softly behind him, and making his way to the bed, sitting beside Castiel and watching him tentatively the entire time. He saw it coming when Dean reached a hand out, and rested it on his arm, in the exact place that Gabriel had touched hours before.

“What the hell happened in the last couple of minutes, Cas?”

Castiel clung to the blankets harder, burying his face in the pillow, wishing that he didn’t have Dean’s face at the forefront of his sight despite his position. Had it really only been a few minutes? Had Gabriel’s interlude happened in a nanosecond of earth time? He felt Dean’s hand push against his bicep, trying to roll him over.

“Baby, you’re really worrying me.”

“Please, don’t leave me.” Castiel managed to moan, standing his ground to stay in the exact same position. Even if his raw strength would be a giveaway to the Hunter.

“What? Why would I leave you?” Dean rubbed his arm, attempting to be soothing. He couldn’t know how little effect it would have now.

“I didn’t want it, I swear,” Castiel kept his eyes firmly closed, his face buried in the pillow, as though by not actually watching Dean’s face, he could stop it from hurting so much. But he could still see Dean’s expression, could feel him warring between confusion and compassion and a hint of frustration. He answered the question on the tip of Dean’s tongue, throwing the words out as though he could get them as far away from himself as possible. “They summoned me back to Heaven. They gave it back.”

Dean hadn’t been expecting that, clearly. He reared back for a moment, and then gathered himself.

“You’re an angel again? You got your mojo back?”

“Yes.”

“Show me.”

Castiel frowned, this time he was the one misunderstanding Dean’s words. He turned his head and cracked open one eye, looking at his fiancé as though he suspected some kind of trick. Dean seemed too positive about this, especially when his expression was so placid. Nevertheless, Castiel reached two fingers up and pressed them to Dean’s forehead gently, letting him see everything that had transpired from the moment he left the meeting room. He took his fingers away when it was over, and slid them under the pillow instead. Dean sat, looking thoughtful, and Castiel watched him process everything without uttering another word.

“Why do you think I’m going to leave you?” Dean asked eventually. Castiel frowned, not trusting the question. Surely Dean remembered?

“Last time I had my powers, you hated me.”

Dean radiated confusion.

“Babe, you have done some stupid shit in your time, like the whole becoming-God-and-digesting-leviathans thing? But I’ve never wanted you to not be an angel.”

“So, you’re not worried that I’m going to start wiping your memory again?”

The confusion disappeared from the atmosphere, and Castiel could feel Dean’s walls drawing up, shutting him out, just as their bedroom door creaked open, and Sam stuck his head in.

“Hey, uh, everything okay?”

Dean got off the bed, and took his brother out of the room. But it didn’t matter, Castiel could hear every word.

“Sorry, Sam. Cas is just having a moment. You know, the stress of planning a wedding and all. He still doesn’t get the point of bridesmaids. Anyway, um,”

“It’s okay. We’ll go. I think Becky’s kinda jetlagged anyway.”

“Yeah, okay. We’ll talk soon, okay? Because I think I found a case we should work on.”

Castiel couldn’t believe how casual Dean was being with his brother when the world was ending. He listened shamelessly as Dean apologised to Becky and gave her the same excuse he’d given Sam, and the reassurances that they’d see each other again soon. He heard the bunker door close, and Dean’s footsteps as he progressed from the front door to their bedroom. When he entered the bedroom, the walls were still up, and Castiel couldn’t sense his mood at all. He peeked out from the pillow, not really wanting to deal with Dean’s anger but knowing it was coming anyway.

“Okay, so …” Dean seemed to be searching for the words. “The memory-wipe thing. Is that something you’re set on doing?”

“No, of course not, Dean.”

“So why do you think I would assume that just because you got your powers back you’d do that to me?” Dean leaned against his desk, arms folded, as Castiel tried to keep up with his phrasing. “I trust you, Cas, is that a mistake? Are you planning on wiping my memories right up to our wedding day? Some kind of plan to get the flowers you want or something? Help me understand.”

“No, Dean, no,” Castiel finally changed position, sitting up and staring at the man he adored. “I love that you’re into planning this, just as much as I am. That you didn’t think your duty stopped at giving me a ring. But when I-when you found out, when my powers went … it just felt like you trusted me more. I don’t want that to stop.”

“That had nothing to do with you being an angel, Cas.” Dean said softly.

“You liked that I didn’t have my powers.”

“I liked that I could keep the days straight and not have Sammy question my sanity. I liked that you were actually talking to me, asking me questions, finding the middle ground. If you having powers stops you doing that,” Dean heaved a sigh. “I want to believe you’re not that guy.”

“I’m not.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Castiel reflected for a moment, on why he felt so uneasy with having his powers back.

“I suppose it’s because, as a human, I’m more your equal. I don’t like it that we’re not the same.”

Dean stared at him for a moment, and then shrugged.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s go up there and talk to Gabriel. Tell him that he can’t force your Grace on you if you don’t want it, and he should shove it up his ass.”

Castiel gave a weak smile, and scrambled off the bed, approaching Dean and placing a hand on his shoulder so that he could transport Dean with him up to Heaven.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean looked around the room with an impressed look on his face. Castiel had his arms wrapped around his chest tightly, shoulders hunched, as though he was ashamed that someone might see his newly given Grace, his eyes glued to his fiancé.

Dean approached one table, tracing his finger over a statuette, before picking up an amulet and studying it briefly. He then spotted the table crammed with Busty Asian Beauties, and began flipping slowly through an issue, turning the magazine around every so often and appraising the images. Right in front of Castiel.

“Dean?” He said softly.

“Right,” Dean flipped the magazine back onto the pile, and approached the desk where so recently, Gabriel had tricked Castiel. He settled into one of the winged armchairs, wiggling slightly on the cushion. “You know, your brother’s an ass, but he’s got some taste.”

Castiel remained standing where he was, clutching his sides, until Dean gestured for him to approach. He did, and as he made it to Dean’s side, Gabriel appeared in the chair opposite, posing with a cigar.

“Cassie! Winchester! To what do I owe the pleasure?” He bit the end of the cigar, and chewed at the side of his mouth as he spoke out the opposite corner. “You giving me a formal invite to the wedding? I bet Cassie did decoupage and edged with lace, right?”

“You’re going to remove Castiel’s Grace again,” Dean cut to the chase, sitting forward in the cushion. “He wants to be human.”

Gabriel bit on the cigar again, his gaze roaming over Dean’s face. Somehow, despite chewing on the cigar, it looked as though he was still smiling. Eventually, he spoke again.

“And if I don’t?”

“Not an option,” Dean spat back. Gabriel crunched down on the cigar again, and Castiel realised that it was made entirely of chocolate.

“Dean, Dean, Dean. You know I’m practically God right now, surely?” Gabriel turned his attention to Castiel, his expression slightly more tender. “What’s wrong, Cassie? Now you don’t have to do all that boring plant research you were begrudging earlier. You can snap your fingers, and your dress will fit perfectly.”

“He wants to be human,” Dean spoke slowly, enunciating every word. Gabriel sighed, and shoved the rest of the cigar in his mouth, chewing slowly and watching his younger brother, one eyebrow cocked as though he was challenging Castiel to contradict Dean.

“I want to be human, Gabriel. Our relationship had a simplicity as two humans that I feel my Grace would overcomplicate.”

“Cassie,” Gabriel tried to sound endearing, but it set Castiel’s teeth on edge.

“For instance, Gabriel, what happens with our vows now? And what happens with Father’s ruling that we, as angels, don’t take humans for our own? My not having a Grace was a solution to a lot of problems.”

Gabriel finally swallowed the chocolate cigar, and looked seriously at Dean.

“And what do you think about this?”

“I think you’d better take Cas’ Grace before I kick your ass.”

Gabriel didn’t seem at all intimidated by Dean’s threat.

“That’s not what I meant. What do you personally think about Castiel having a Grace?”

“I think I want Cas happy. If that means no Grace, then no Grace.”

Gabriel opened a drawer to the desk, and pulled another chocolate cigar out, biting into it as he shut the drawer. He looked at Dean appraisingly for a while, and then rolled his eyes as though whatever he was thinking was obvious.

“Okay, fine, what if I said that there was another solution?”

Castiel hesitantly looked at Dean, who shrugged at him and then refocused on Gabriel. Castiel looked at his brother also, feeling more apprehensive than when they’d first set foot in Gabriel’s office.

“What if, and I am going to regret this suggestion every day for the rest of my existence, I’m sure. But what if Dean had a Grace too?”

Castiel blinked, not sure he had heard his brother correctly. Dean shifted in his seat, as though he was anticipating a trick.

“I mean, there’d be some ground rules. Absolutely, on no account, will you smite the sex God ruling Heaven,” Gabriel pointed to himself. “I realise that there might be a teensy bit of tension there which in your world translates to revenge, but we’ll make this a contract of sorts.”

Castiel knew that Dean would consider ‘teensy bit of tension’ an understatement, after what had happened at the Mystery Spot, and the television world, only barely redeemed by Gabriel’s assistance with the horsemen’s rings and taking on Lucifer. Gabriel was correct, Dean would view it as a score to settle.

“So we call me giving you a Grace and making you once again equal with my little bro a truce, hmmm? And obviously there’s no way you’d harm my baby brother, but every other angel’s pretty much fair game. I mean, you’d have to have a good reason for smiting the crap out of anyone, but I’m going to pretend that you’d be acting for the good of the world.”

Gabriel climbed out of his seat and began pacing as he talked. Castiel watched him with every step, feeling increasingly frustrated with his brother.

“We’ll take it slow with the angelic duty bit, obviously. I’m not going to be calling on the both of you to fight for Heaven or to worship me when you’re meant to be in Cancun on your honeymoon. I mean, there will be something, but I suppose you’d have to get used to all that power first. I think you could be an asset to Heaven, Dean.”

Gabriel stopped pacing, and turned to smile at them both.

“And this is definitely my Grace? You’re not going to trick me into being an angel condom?”

“Pfft, Dean, what do you take me for?”

“The trickster?” Dean reminded him. Gabriel scoffed, and waved a hand at him again.

“Old news. I’ll make you up a Grace, one that’ll bind with your soul and mean you have all that power, and your precious free will - up to a point, obviously, it’s a Grace - but it’ll definitely still be your meat suit.”

“What do you mean, up to a point?” Dean pressed, and Castiel saw the first opportunity to try to dissuade his future husband from the pretty words his brother was painting a mental picture with.

“He means that, with a Grace, you’ll always have to answer to Heaven, to an extent. You’ll feel the pull, you’ll be unable to resist Gabriel’s demands when he wants to speak to you, and the same goes for God. Whatever Father would want from you, you will do it without any question.”

“If He ever comes back,” Gabriel shrugged easily, sitting on the edge of the desk.

“Dean, I don’t want this,” Castiel said quietly, wishing he could get rid of Gabriel for just a moment in order to discuss this properly with Dean, to get them back to making Castiel human again. Dean turned to look at him for the first time in the conversation.

“Why not? Gabe doesn’t want to take your Grace away, and this could be a good thing. Imagine all the demons and monsters I could smite? I could be even more badass at hunting. We could have extra protection at our wedding for all our human guests, Hunters or not. I’m not really seeing a bad here, Cas.”

Castiel looked away. There was no way of really explaining to Dean exactly what was unsettling him. He was treating Gabriel’s suggestion as a present without conditions, without realising that there was nothing but conditions attached. And it tore at Castiel to imagine Dean changed by the new Grace, so that he was muted, more agreeable, less able to question commands. And the way he would crave God would surely make his feelings for Castiel pale into insignificance?

“Cassie,” Gabriel put his hand on his brother’s shoulder again. “Trust me, it’s all going to be okay. You and Winchester are still going to be the greatest lovers to ever love. Or whatever you think is going on with the two of you.”

Castiel shrugged, feeling at a complete loss. He knew Dean had already been convinced, he could sense it just as easily as Gabriel could. He looked at the man he loved, trying to swallow down the worry and the upset coursing through him.

“You won’t be able to come back from this, Dean. It’ll fuse with your soul, they won’t ever separate again.”

Dean looked back at him steadily, his expression making it so clear that his mind was already made up.

“Cas, it’s going to be fine.”

He twined their fingers together, pulling Castiel closer to him, obviously intent on kissing right in front of Gabriel. Castiel only allowed it because he knew that Dean wasn’t going to change his mind, and if that was the case, Castiel wanted to remember exactly how he tasted, how it felt when Dean got into his rhythm, all his little quirks that made kissing Dean Winchester one of Castiel’s favourite things to do. He knew they must look vaguely pornographic, especially when Dean leaned back in the armchair, and tugged Castiel along with him until the angel was straddling him. Castiel was holding his fiancé’s head, rubbing his fingers in his hair as Dean’s fingers trailed along his back. And all the while, their tongues danced together furiously, their mouths working a frantic rhythm, and Castiel wished intensely that Gabriel wasn’t there.

“Really? I get the floor show?” Gabriel snorted with laughter, and they pulled apart reluctantly. Dean looked at Castiel, searching for a silent confirmation that it was okay to go ahead, and turned to the archangel.

“Shut up and give me my Grace already.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, and from nowhere various bottles and vials appeared on the desk. He began mixing them quickly, and Castiel climbed off Dean’s lap, creeping closer to look at some of the elements going towards Dean’s grace, while Dean sat back in the chair. Castiel was so involved in watching Gabriel’s process, that he didn’t see his brother grab the small dagger from between the vials and make a small cut on his arm.

“Gabriel,” he snarled.

“Relax,” Gabriel was, for once, focused on the task at hand and not smirking at him. He held a small spoon under the cut and gathered some of Castiel’s blood, before the wound closed and knitted together as though it had never existed. “I’m putting some of you into Dean’s Grace, isn’t that what you would want? You get to be a part of him forever, blah blah blah.”

He tapped the edge of the spoon handle on the side of his mixing bowl, and the blood melted immediately into the substance already collected. A few seconds later, the contents shone with a blue-tinted white light, and he poured the contents into a small tumbler, handing it over to Dean.

“Voila, Grace.”

“Just like that?” Dean sounded amused, but took the glass anyway. Castiel watched as he tipped the glass back and let the contents suck themselves inside him. He put the glass down and shrugged. “Now what?”

“Who knows? You’re the first living human to ever take on a Grace. The few souls we’ve done this with were already long dead.”

Gabriel sat back in his chair, the desk instantly clearing of everything he’d used as he put his feet up. Castiel watched Dean closely, for any sign of a reaction.

“My Grace was done by now,” Castiel said over his shoulder.

“Uh-huh, but that was already yours, it knew what it was doing. Knew your vessel, knew the rest of you … this is something completely different.”

Castiel looked over his shoulder at his brother.

“Are you trying to tell me that this is some kind of experiment? That you don’t even know if it’s going to work?”

“It’s worked.” Gabriel spoke quietly, nodding at the chair. Castiel turned, but Dean had left the seat. And the room. Castiel turned back, panicked.

“Where is he, Gabriel?”

“How should I know? But hey, you’re connected now. Use the blood force.”

Castiel spared his brother one look of pure venom, before he searched for Dean, feeling for some part of his essence that he could pick up on and travel towards, and then he too left Gabriel’s office.

He found Dean in the bunker, in their bedroom, laying on the bed. His eyes were closed, as though he were sleeping, and his body was straight, rigid, although his hands clasped his chest, just by his heart. Castiel reached out for him, but stopped before touching. There was a heat coming from Dean that should have incinerated his body, and burned down the rest of the bunker. As Castiel watched, a light appeared as though underneath Dean. It spread out like liquid, small tendrils of beams working their way out and then around him, forming a cage around him. When he was fully surrounded, the light burned brighter, until even Castiel needed to look away, and then it extinguished itself, leaving a hardened cage in its place. It looked like patterned glass, but was soft to touch. Castiel could see Dean through the casing, but couldn’t get through to him. He still looked as though he was asleep, and Castiel wondered what was going on in his strange cage. Was Dean okay?

“Dean? Are you awake in there?” Castiel asked softly. There was no change in the Hunter. Castiel crumpled to the floor beside the bed, holding his knees close to his chest. What was he going to do now? All he’d wanted out of the day was to have Dean watch a stupid wedding movie so that he knew how much there was going to be to do, beyond picking flowers, best men, and a cake flavour. And now he had no access whatsoever to the man he loved.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel could think of nothing to do but keep a bedside vigil for Dean, watching for the smallest of changes as the Grace ran through his body, making all the changes that Castiel was dreading.

Dean didn’t move, and the only comfort that Castiel could find was that the Hunter seemed to have a small smile on his face in his sleep. He had taken to running his fingers over the cage, which still held firm around Dean, still translucent and soft to touch. After staring at the patterns on the cage for a few hours, Castiel realised it looked like feathers, growing into a strong set of wings. It was as though Dean was protecting himself through the change.

Castiel couldn’t work out how to get under the feathers, how to touch Dean. He didn’t want anything inappropriate, but just to know that he was still breathing, still warm - not hot, but warm - to hold out hope that Dean would somehow be himself, even after the change.

*

_It took a while for the world to start to make sense. One moment, Dean had been in Gabriel’s office, and the next he was thrown into a hazy world of coloured lights. He could feel nothing around him, but at the same time, he didn’t feel as if he were falling, or flying, or even floating. If anything, he felt suspended in the lights and colours. But mostly, he felt at peace._

_It was a strange feeling for Dean, peace. It made him think of those mornings he would wake up and take a few moments to kiss Castiel while he was still unconscious, to hold him close and appreciate exactly what he had._

_It was this thought that began to give a definition to the coloured lights, as though the way he felt for Castiel could somehow become tangible. He wasn’t sure he could handle seeing - right in front of him - the true depth of his feelings, and the lighting seemed to understand that, giving him only the blurry hint of a picture, allowing it to slowly focus into being._

_When he could finally look at his surroundings, he was surprised to find himself in a nondescript diner. He sat on a cracked red vinyl seat, resting his forearms on the formica table as some old soft rock played quietly. The diner was far from deserted, everywhere Dean looked he could see someone he loved. Some of those people came as a surprise. Beyond Sam and Bobby and his parents, there were people like Rufus, the Ghostfacers, Ronald, even Emma. The place was heaving with bodies._

_On the table in front of him, there were two plates bearing cheeseburgers and fries, two beers, and a huge apple pie. On the red vinyl seat opposite was Castiel, who was watching him with heavy-lidded eyes and a lazy smile._

_“So, where are we?” Dean asked. Castiel cast a look around the diner._

_“A restaurant.”_

_“Okay.” Dean couldn’t get frustrated at Castiel’s lack of understanding for once. There was still that overwhelming sensation of peace, in every particle of his being. “Hey, am I full angel now?”_

_Castiel cocked his head in that adorable way he did, surveying Dean with interest._

_“I’d say you were still in the process. Do you feel more powerful, at all?”_

_Dean considered Castiel’s question._

_“I feel at peace, for sure. Pretty damn happy for once. Am I dead?”_

_Castiel shook his head._

_“No, you’re not. I suppose you’re just in transit, as it were.”_

_“You gonna stay with me through this whole thing?”_

_“Of course. You heard Gabriel, I’m part of you now.”_

_It was the kind of thing Castiel would say that would leave Dean at a total loss. But this time, it felt comforting, and Dean leaned across the table to give Castiel a gentle kiss. He smiled back easily, and held a hand out for Dean to take. He did, and let Castiel lead him onto the black and white tiled floor, holding him close and beginning to dance. As they swayed together, the diner faded away, back to the indistinguishable coloured lights._

_“It’s not so bad, you know. Becoming an angel. Doesn’t hurt at all.”_

_“Why would it hurt you? You’re being given part of Heaven.”_

_“You seemed worried about it.”_

_“It’s a lot to take on. And while I know you’re capable of bearing many burdens, I don’t like that you seem to seek them out. And I feel like I worked so hard to make you love me, and now that’s at risk with the strength of what you’re taking on.”_

_Dean rested his forehead against Castiel’s, still swaying in the coloured lights._

_“You didn’t make me love you. You just helped me work out that I already did. And this is going to be okay, Cas. I can feel it. Can’t you? Aren’t you the one who keeps telling me to have a little more faith?”_

_Castiel gave him a small smile._

_“That’s the Grace talking.”_

_Dean shrugged, and pressed a kiss to Castiel’s temple._

_“So it’s the Grace talking. Doesn’t change a damn thing.”_

_Castiel nuzzled his head into the crook of Dean’s neck the way he loved to do. Dean squeezed his arms around him, feeling the first surge of power course through him._

_“How long is this going to take, Cas?”_

_“I don’t know. Like Gabriel said, we’ve never changed a living human before. It could be almost over, it could take a week. It might not work at all, and then I will do my best to put you back together, the way you should be.”_

_Dean waited to feel some reaction to Castiel’s words. Some fear, or anger, or even some frustration. All he felt was that floating peaceful feeling._

_“It’s going to work, Cas. It can’t feel this good if it isn’t.”_

*

Castiel was sick of sitting, watching Dean lay there and do nothing. He felt an itching need to do something, anything to stop himself from going crazy. He tried to summon Gabriel down into the bunker, knowing that it would probably be no use. He even considered calling Sam, asking for his help, but he couldn’t think what to say to the taller Hunter about the choice Dean had made, the rash decision to change his entire being. He started pacing around the room, trying to keep his thoughts on track, knowing there was no real way of making a decision while Dean was in his feathered cage.

“Hey bro, you rang?”

Castiel whipped around at the sound of Gabriel’s voice, wanting to react in a human way, clutching at his brother’s shirt and demanding a solution. He knew his brother was too powerful for Castiel to be able to get near him, and he would get absolutely no satisfaction from a fight with him.

“Gabriel-“

“Hey, is that Dean?” Gabriel jumped onto the bed, squinting through the translucent feathers. “Huh. Interesting.”

“What did you do to him?” Castiel demanded, his anger flowing out in his words. Gabriel didn’t even look up.

“Gave him a Grace, just like I promised. I guess this is what happens to a living being when it’s being converted.” Gabriel finally looked up at him. “Stop stressing, Cassie. He’ll still be Dean.”

“Why did you do it, anyway? How did you manage to convince him to just throw his life away?”

Gabriel left the bed, zapping over to the desk that held a few pictures of Castiel with Dean and looking at them appraisingly.

“Well, you were so adamant that you had to be the same. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Winchester’s kind of a sap for you. Besides, my control over Heaven isn’t as rock solid as I’d want. Some of the squares are totally pissed about me not being there through the apocalypse, or stopping you from making deals with Crowley, or people like Naomi being in charge,” Gabriel shook his head as he smirked in his normal way. “I need all the angels I can get, I told you that.”

“So you’re using me and Dean?” Castiel demanded.

“Using?” Gabriel made a derisive sound. “Nope. I know what you’re like little bro. You and your wife here. I just need you to put a good word in for me every now and again, and other than that, just do what you normally do. You’ll be working into the plan that way.”

“That doesn’t sound ominous at all.”

“Isn’t it what you want, Castiel? The other angels, actually giving a rats ass about humans? Working with them to get somewhere close to what Dad wanted? They won’t look at you as a rebel anymore, they’ll look to you as the angel who actually did what they were supposed to be doing all along. And so you banged one human on the way, he’s an angel now, so obviously he was doing something right too.”

“Yes, I can imagine the likes of Naomi and Bartholomew would be enthralled with the notion of Dean being an angel.” Castiel said drily.

“Like you?” Gabriel rolled his eyes, and slung an arm around Castiel. “You need to lighten up, little bro.”

Gabriel disappeared, and Castiel groaned, slumping on the bed, his head resting against Dean’s makeshift cocoon.

“I don’t know if you can even hear me in there,” Castiel said quietly. “But when you get out, I say we go kick Gabe’s ass properly this time.”

He gazed up at the ceiling of their bedroom, crossing his arms on his chest.

“I wish you’d given this more consideration, Dean. You’re giving up so much, and I don’t think you even thought on it when you said yes. What about eating pie? Or drinking beer constantly. You’ll have no more need for the Impala now you can just will yourself to go somewhere. There’s no point to us even having a bed anymore, since we won’t be sleeping ever again and you don’t restrict intercourse to the span of a mattress. I feel like,” Castiel felt a strain in his head that in human terms would be the beginning of a headache. He forced himself to focus. “I feel like you’re giving up on being you. Everything that makes you so Dean, it’s all going to go. And I don’t want to be guilted into loving whatever stands in for you because you made this decision. Why couldn’t you have insisted on remaining human?” He moved his head along the wing to look at Dean’s face, but there was no change on the placid expression just visible through the feathers. He sighed heavily, and zapped himself off of Dean’s frame, and into the doorway.

“If you wake up in the next few hours, I’m looking up stuff for the wedding. I know there’s probably going to be no point, but I have to do something.”

Because wringing Gabriel’s neck wasn’t an option.

*

Castiel finally returned to the room hours later. He’d tried to read the books that would be relevant to the ingredients in their cake in case of poisoning, but he couldn’t focus. He’d tried to watch some of the movies he’d previously enjoyed, but they felt superficial. He’d even tried baking cookies like he’d done as a human, but his mind kept wandering back to Dean, and the mix wouldn’t come together. Eventually, he’d given up on his distractions and decided to make sure that Dean was at least stable.  
He stopped just inside the door, watching. The wings were moving, curving up and out slightly, then flexing back in. Like Dean was testing his new limbs. And then he raised a hand, stroking the downy feathers with one finger, and Castiel could see him watching his progress, a small smile on his lips.

_‘Cas?’_

Castiel could hear Dean’s voice so clearly in his head. He hadn’t been expecting that.

_‘Yes.’_

He wondered how this was going to pan out.

_‘So I’m like, full-on angel now, huh?’_

_‘I guess.’_

_‘Are you mad?’_

Dean sat up, and stopped. Castiel could hear his reaction as they locked eyes.

_‘Fuck.’_

_‘What?’_

_‘I … I just … wow. Wow.’_

Castiel furrowed his brow, trying to understand.

_‘Dean? Is everything okay?’_

_‘Can you see me too?’_

_‘Of course I can. You’re right in front of me.’_

_‘Yeah but, I mean, that’s your real face, isn’t it? I can finally, actually see you. Not just your human form. Do I look different?’_

Castiel wasn’t sure how to answer that. He had forgotten that Dean had neither seen his true form nor heard his true voice. But Dean could hear him thinking, as though the blood connection that Gabriel had forged had rendered a connection that left nowhere to hide.

_‘Yeah, I kind of think of you as the nerdy guy in a trench coat. I still love that guy, but wow, Cas. I didn’t know you were so hot.’_

_‘Thank you, I think. And you still look the same to me. I guess because I’ve always seen your soul.’_

_‘Come on, Cas. Wings.’_

Dean pointed to his new wings as he thought, and Castiel couldn’t resist the small smile that played on his lips at that. Maybe Dean was going to be okay.

_‘You have a halo too.’_

Dean tried to look up, not seeing the halo as it moved with him. He crashed onto the pillows, and Castiel burst out laughing at the sight of Dean craning his neck to get a decent view. And then he couldn’t help himself, zapping on top of Dean and embracing him properly, feeling Dean’s wing caressing his own, sending shivers down his spine.

_‘Okay, is it me, or is it a total turn on when you touch my wings?’_

Castiel looked into Dean’s eyes as he slowly moved one of his wings along Dean’s, watching his eyelids flutter, feeling his erection begin. He hadn’t been joking about how sensitive his new wings were. Castiel began to stroke the feathers slowly with his fingers, feeling Dean writhe underneath him.

_‘That feels so good.”_

Dean groaned through the thought, and Castiel kissed his lower lip, some of his anxiety dissipating.

_‘It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s going to be fine.’_

_‘You alright there, Cas?’_

Castiel hadn’t realised Dean would hear that.

_‘Um, yes.’_

_‘You talking yourself into this? Because we don’t have to do anything if you don’t wanna.’_

_‘Dean, I haven’t been able to touch you for a couple of days. I very much want to. I was just worried.’_

Dean pulled back from his lips, and looked at him seriously. It was then that Castiel noticed that there was a difference. Dean’s eyes used to be a mossy green, with flecks of hazel, but now they were a vibrant green, as bright as Castiel’s own.

_‘Worried about what, babe?’_

_‘That you’d be different.’_

Dean paused for a moment, before pulling Castiel closer, kissing him firmly, his tongue demanding its way into Castiel’s mouth. And then they were rolling over on the bed, Dean using his newfound strength to pin Castiel to the bed as he imagined their clothes off.

Dean dictated everything between them, his hands grazing Castiel’s skin softly before he pinned him down by his shoulders, still kissing him for all he was worth. He began his rolling his body, starting with his shoulders, the way he always did, and Castiel felt himself responding, unable to resist Dean’s persistent kisses, his familiar touch.

Maybe it wasn’t going to be so bad, he mused as Dean worked his way between Castiel’s legs. Maybe Dean was going to be himself no matter what, and things like beer and pie just didn’t matter to who he was as a whole. Castiel looked into his eyes again as Dean eased his way inside him, their bodies almost working on autopilot as they come together as effortlessly as normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the end was a little weak, I just got home from YALC at LFCC! It was amazing, but now my brain is fried :/


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel lay on the bed, breathing slowly, savouring what had just happened between himself and Dean. Maybe he was wrong, maybe their connection was fine and they had nothing to worry about.

_‘Obviously, I can’t be that good, if you still have to question it.’_

_‘Stop listening to my every thought.’_

Castiel wasn’t as annoyed as he might have sounded. He liked being able to hear Dean, who was currently humming an old tune to himself. It was comforting to know that they could share their thoughts, that he could know just what Dean felt when he was nearby.

_‘So, like, best sex ever?’_

_‘Maybe some thoughts should remain private.’_

_‘You over-analyse everything, don’t you?’_

He could feel Dean’s eyes boring into him again, could hear the blip in Dean’s thoughts where he was once again caught by Castiel’s true face.

_‘Do all angels look like you?’_

_‘Believe it or not, Dean, I’m not actually aware what my face looks like. But yes, there’s a variance in my brothers and sisters.’_

_‘Huh. I’m not suddenly one of your siblings, am I? Because humans have rules against that.’_

_‘Why did you not question it before my brother changed you?’_

He heard Dean’s mental shrug, and continued rambling mentally, still looking up at the ceiling.

_‘Did you question anything? Like not eating pie anymore, or drinking beer, or what Sam’s going to say-‘_

_‘Oh, shit. Sam.’_

_‘You have to tell him, Dean.’_

Castiel heard what Dean didn’t intend him to.

_‘Don’t have to tell Sam squat.’_

_‘Dean, he’s going to realise.’_

_‘And anyway, I’m sure Gabe made it so I can eat pie if I wanna. Can we talk about something else? Like, how comes I can see your wings and your halo now? Is my halo like yours? Are my wings going to get in the way of everything?’_

_‘I suppose it’s because the Grace gave you the chance to see my Grace. Sam won’t see our wings or halos. And yes, it’s like a circle of light around your head, just like mine.’_

_‘And the wings? Because you can touch them, and I can touch yours.’_

Dean reached out a hand and stroked down Castiel’s feathers, sending a shiver of pleasure through the wing and down Castiel’s back.

_‘Yeah, you like that?’_

_‘Again, Dean,’_ Castiel tried to focus. _‘It’s related to the Grace. They won’t get in the way, or knock things over. Not on earth. They might be a little more impractical in Heaven, but down on earth you can move as you always have.’_

_‘Damn. I was going to have some fun with Sam. When he finally finds out, I mean.’_

_‘Well, if they were the same on earth as in Heaven, you would definitely have difficulty in hiding this from your brother.’_

Dean rolled over, pinning Castiel to the mattress.

_‘Stop stressing about Sam, I’ll deal with him. You worry way too much.’_

Castiel looked him in the eye, noting again how bright Dean’s irises were. And despite all his concerns, just how little becoming an angel had actually changed him. Dean rolled his eyes.

_‘This is exactly what I’m talking about, Cas. You were stressing about me being different?’_

_‘You can hardly blame me for that. You’re the only living human to take on a Grace. I’m just thankful you didn’t explode in Gabriel’s office.’_

_‘Yeah, like that was going to happen.’_

_‘I’m sorry, do you not remember being unable to deal with my true voice before?’_

_‘Talking of voices, you realise we haven’t actually spoken out loud since I woke up?’_

_‘We hardly have a need to. I suppose this mind connection is a result of Gabriel using my blood as part of his spellwork?’_

_‘I guess. Its kind of nice, hearing you be completely neurotic. Now I get to hear exactly what I’m marrying.’_

_‘Very humorous.’_

Dean leaned down, kissing him again, just as Dean’s cellphone rang. Castiel heard the mental groan, before Dean zapped himself across the room, phone already in hand.

“Hey Sam.”

Castiel could hear the tinny conversation on Sam’s end of the line.

“Hey Dean, I found a case, are you in?”

“Dude, you just had your honeymoon, what are you doing hunting already?”

“I don’t know, I have an itch. And Becky’s back at the hospital already. I’m bored. And I got on my laptop and this case came up. Want me to email you the details?”

“No. Cas and me will drive up. We’ll talk then.”

Dean hung up the phone, and looked across the room at Castiel, who was frowning at him from the mattress.

_‘Come on, Cas, I can go on hunts.’_

_‘I’m not worried about the hunt, I’m worried about you not telling Sam.’_

_‘I’ll show him with my awesome angel powers.’_

_‘Maybe you should practice and get used to them before you unleash them on your brother. I’d hate for you to intend to show Sam what happened and accidentally smite him.’_

_‘Babe, turn it off. I’m fine. Look.’_

Dean’s clothes materialised on his body, as did Castiel’s, and then they were in the Impala, Dean driving out of the garage and the music blaring. Dean grinned at him as the car swept down the road.

_‘Nothing to it. And we only ever have to stop for gas, unless you know of some way we can keep refilling it? And if you do, why have you never done it before?’_

_‘Maybe because my Grace wasn’t created solely to keep you in vintage cars?’_

Dean shook his head, as Castiel heard the half-formed thought about dopey angels and his Baby. He decided to let the matter rest, at least until they reached Sam and Becky’s house.

*

The drive to Sam’s house barely took any time at all. Castiel was sure that Dean was doing something to enhance the Impala’s performance, but he couldn’t quite figure out what. He held off saying anything, though he knew Dean could hear him thinking it, because he was relying on Sam to speak up.

_‘Prove I did anything.’_

_‘This journey normally takes, on average, eight hours. You’ve just managed it in three.’_

_‘Well, I guess that gives us five hours to fool around.’_

Castiel gave Dean a tired look, and he received a seemingly innocent smile back.

_‘I want to practice going invisible like you do sometimes. Could be fun.’_

_‘Well, at least Sam won’t complain about walking in on us if we’re both invisible to humans. Though your car is awfully distinctive.’_

Dean parked a few streets away from Sam and Becky’s house, quirking an eyebrow at Castiel. Castiel sighed, but obliged, easily transferring to the plane of existence that allowed him to seem invisible to humans. He extended his reach to include Dean, just in case.

_‘I can still see you,’_ Dean mused.

_‘We’re hardly invisible to each other, Dean. That would detract from the point.’_

_‘Then how do I know it’s worked?’_

_‘It feels like an extra layer on your skin. Like something soft just sitting there,’_ Castiel reached a hand across and caressed Dean’s cheek with a single finger. _‘Like this.’_

Dean caught his hand, and pressed the back of it to his mouth, pressing his lips gently against Castiel’s skin. He smiled nervously, unused to an affectionate Dean. Especially out in public. And then he was being pulled across the bench, over to Dean, and he went willingly, letting Dean guide him down so they were laying across the bench, tangled up in each other.

_‘This is like our first date.’_ Dean smirked, leaning his head up so that they could kiss. Castiel obliged, although he wondered when Dean would ever acknowledge their foray into paintball. _‘Dude, just because you were eye fucking the back of my head, it doesn’t qualify as a date.’_

_‘If I considered our relationship starting point by when I was “eye fucking” you, then we started dating the moment we met.’_

_‘In the barn with Bobby? Nice.’_

_‘In Hell. Before we even spoke.’_

Castiel could hear the hesitation in Dean’s mind, the way he repeated his words and thought back to Hell. The way he’d been flaying some poor soul up on the rack before he heard a commotion. The way he’d looked up, and immediately looked away from the bright white light that pierced through the gloom as Castiel forced his way to get him. The burning sensation over his raw skin as he was lifted out of the pit, the echoes of screams ringing in his ears, the tears streaming down his face as he wondered what new torture this was.

Castiel remembered it slightly differently, searching through the darkness for a specific soul. Finding him standing there, shaking as he cracked a whip on another soul, the material slicing the surface open. Reaching him as quickly as possible, forcing the whip away from him and wrapping his arms tight around the quivering soul. That feeling that stirred in him as he held the soul close, one of protection and wonder. That this soul had been through so much torture - whether receiving pain or administering it, he had been tortured - and still had the capacity to seem whole. How grateful the soul seemed to be in his arms, tiny and fragile. How it curled up against him, and he understood why he was sent for this soul, why he was given this mission.

Dean was suddenly kissing him desperately, their combined memories seeming to be the trigger. Castiel could sense his need for physical contact, for some way to make their connection tangible for a brief moment, and he obliged. Making sure they were both still invisible to the human eye, he neatly removed their clothes, and attempted to move them both, to work it so that Dean was on top of him, pressing his weight down on his body. But Dean resisted, his hands flying to Castiel’s back, securing him within his arms, pulling him closer.

Castiel savoured the feel of Dean’s skin against his own, the tightness in his chest that came from Dean’s grasp, the way that he began kissing down Castiel’s neck in that familiar-yet-potent way. He fought the urge to groan loudly, unsure whether anyone except Dean would hear him, and arched his throat instead, allowing more room for those intoxicating kisses.

Dean was taking his time for once, and focusing all his attention on pleasuring Castiel. He supposed it was something to do with the five hours stretching ahead of him, but Dean’s thoughts seemed locked in on their shared memory of the moment they met. It gave Castiel some misgivings that perhaps they shouldn’t be doing anything physical at all, but it was so hard to resist Dean, to walk away from those lips and biceps and that firm chest. And besides, Dean could hear him debating whether it was right or not, and he was very persistent in his need to be physical … Castiel didn’t fight it. He caressed Dean’s chest and stomach slowly, his fingertips grazing skin as he reached towards Dean’s penis. He was rewarded by Dean flexing his hips up, demanding to be touched.

He rarely touched Dean in this way, hands working their way through his pubic hair. Dean normally wanted other things, he wanted to be in control. But now he was letting Castiel set the tone, even as he sucked on his fiancé’s neck, biting and licking the small patch of skin.

Castiel lost control, his other hand slipping down quickly and reaching around further, for Dean’s testicles, massaging them as he slid up and down the shaft. Dean’s thoughts changed, focusing just on Castiel’s hands, on how good it felt as his hips bucked up to match Castiel’s rhythm.

And then he stilled, as Castiel’s hands were coated in semen. He zapped himself clean, and skimmed his hands back along Dean’s hips, circling his arms around his lover’s waist as he snuggled into his wonderful chest.

_‘I love you.’_

_‘Love you too.’_

Castiel couldn’t help but feel smug every time he heard Dean say it back. They lay together quietly, naked on the front seat, ignorant of the world passing them by.

_‘We’ve still got a while before bugging my brother, huh?’_

_‘I believe so.’_

_‘What do you wanna do?_

_‘I’m quite enjoying just lying here with you.’_

_‘Yeah, except my butt is sticking to the seat.’_

Castiel had barely begun to raise his head when suddenly they were fully clothed again, still sprawled across the bench, still hidden from the human world.

_’So, we’re still getting married, right? Even though we’re both angels now? Like, that’s still okay isn’t it?’_

_‘I assume so. Gabriel would have informed us otherwise, I think. He mentioned our honeymoon, at least.’_

_‘Good. Don’t want the rings going to waste.’_

Castiel raised a hand up and admired his ring again, feeling Dean’s chest vibrate underneath him as he laughed.

_‘Maybe we should set a date? I mean, Becky will probably nag us about that sort of thing when we see her. And since we’re both angels now, we can research everything pretty quickly, get hold of it with no trouble. Right?’_

_‘I’m not used to you being this optimistic.’_

_‘What can I say? I feel pretty good. Must be the Grace.’_

_‘If that’s your only change, I can live with it.'_

Dean chuckled again, the vibrations nudging Castiel’s head. They talked about the wedding without speaking a word until Dean finally checked his watch and decided it was close enough to a normal time for arriving at Sam’s. Castiel checked for anyone nearby who might spot them coming into sight, and then removed their cover before Dean drove the Impala the few blocks to Sam and Becky’s house. He pulled up, and cut the engine, stepping slowly out of the car and rolling his shoulders. Castiel climbed out of the passenger side, and listened to Dean’s internal complaints about how cramped Baby suddenly seemed.

_‘I guess classic cars aren’t built for Grace.’_

_‘Funny. But I don’t drop the things I love, so Baby stays.’_

Castiel joined him on the sidewalk, and they made their way through the front yard, up the porch steps, and stood together as Dean knocked on the front door. It took a few moments for Sam’s outline to appear in the frosted glass, and a few more for him to pull the door open.

Castiel barely had any warning, even from Dean’s thoughts, before he was leaping towards his brother, hand outstretched towards Sam’s forehead. He moved as quickly as he could, trying to get between the brothers, trying to force Dean and his jumbled thoughts back.

_‘Get out the way, Cas!’_

_‘Dean, no!’_

_‘I need to kill it.’_

“Stop, Dean. STOP! It’s him, it’s Sam!”

“What the hell, guys?” Sam panted from behind Castiel, as he wrestled to control Dean.


	6. Chapter 6

Castiel sat on one of the kitchen stools in Becky's kitchen, clutching a large mug of coffee. Sam was across the table from him, holding a mug of his own, surveying him quietly with his large, expressive eyes.

He had sent Dean back to the bunker, mentally informing his husband-to-be not to move for a while, because he was going to straighten everything out. He heard Dean mutter internally to himself before he was zapped out, and then there was silence. He acknowledged that their proximity to one another had some effect on their mental communication, though he could still sense Dean, pacing in the bunker.

"So, you have your powers back?" Sam spoke eventually. Castiel nodded. He had known that the only way to really save Sam from his own brother was to use his powers, and he knew that his future brother-in-law would have questions.

"Yes. I actually got them back a few days ago, when you were at the bunker."

Sam twisted the cup around, on the table top, and Castiel watched its progression.

"When you went to your room?"

Castiel nodded again, hating how loud the silence seemed when he and Sam weren't speaking.

"It took my vessel a little while to adjust to having Grace again, after so long without it. Dean was trying to look after me."

Sam picked up his mug and took a sip, and Castiel waited for him to bring up what had just happened, staring down into his own mug.

"I guess it's still a little unsettled, huh?"

"No, it's fine now."

"So why did you freak out when Dean reached out for me?"

Castiel blinked in surprise. Sam of course couldn't hear Dean's erratic thoughts, but surely he had seen the expression on Dean's face? He tried to replay the scene in his head again, slowed down without Dean's homicidal thoughts. Had it really just looked to Sam like his brother was holding a hand out, approaching him seriously, before Castiel went leaping in and restraining Dean? He knew that Sam already suspected Castiel was far too clingy, he supposed his actions came across that way.

"It's a long story, Sam."

"We've got the time. I'll call Rudy or Garth or someone, get them on the case."

"That's probably for the best," Castiel acquiesced, and waited while Sam pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and called hunters he knew until one of them picked up and took the case. He placed his phone on the table between them, and Castiel focused on that while Sam took another sip of his drink.

"So, now we don't have the pressure of a case?"

Castiel sighed heavily. He had wanted Dean to tell his brother what had happened, but clearly that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. He stumbled over the explanation, of how he didn't want to be angel, and Dean had insisted they go to Heaven to get it taken away again. How Dean had agreed with Gabriel to take on a Grace of his own, how he had spent the last couple of days becoming an angel himself. Sam was silent through the explanation, but Castiel knew he was taking it all in. When Castiel finished speaking, there was silence for a moment, before Sam started his questions.

"Why don't you want to be an angel anymore, Cas?'

Castiel cringed. It was one thing Dean knowing why, but explaining to Sam felt like a betrayal of their relationship. He knew he had to justify it, so that Sam could understand his brother's motivations, but it still felt like Castiel was being disloyal.

"It's not that I don't like having my powers, or that they're not useful. It will be nice to come with you and Dean and be of use when you're hunting, rather than stuck in the bunker or motel rooms and looking through your books. It's just that, Dean trusted me more as a human. He said it's not true, but that's how it feels."

Sam reached across the table, and squeezed Castiel's hand gently.

"I get it, Cas. I get how Dean was thinking to, you know. Maybe since you're still on the same playing field, you can still have that trust? I know my brother doesn't always talk about the way he's feeling, but he'd do anything for you. I'm not surprised he decided to be an angel to try and make you feel better about this."

"You're not angry? That he agreed that with Gabriel?"

Sam tapped the table with his fingertips, a gesture that Castiel understood meant that Sam was thinking.

"No, I'm not angry. He loves you, Cas. And it's Dean's MO to act without really considering the consequences."

"But?" Castiel could sense the undercurrent that didn't touch Sam's words. Sam sighed, and gripped his cup again.

"But it hurts, that he didn't think of me when he made his decision. Just because Becky and I are happy together, it doesn't mean I want the distance from him. I agree with you, Cas. You both should have stayed human."

Castiel nodded, grateful for Sam's support, and he relaxed enough to take a tentative sip of his own drink. He could actually taste the coffee, not the molecules, so at least Gabriel hadn't lied about that.

"I still don't understand though, why did you stop Dean hugging me?"

"Well, since he woke up, we've been able to hear each other's thoughts. Possibly because Gabriel used some of my blood in his Grace. He wasn't thinking about hugging you."

Sam's eyebrows met as he frowned, and Becky walked into the kitchen, unwinding a scarf from her neck.

"It's really starting to get cold out there," she shivered for effect, and slipped into the seat beside Sam. "Hello Cas, where's Dean?"

"Time out," Sam murmured, and leaned across to kiss his wife on the cheek. "How was the hospital?"

"Fine, it was fine. Half the beds are empty at the moment, so that's a good sign." She took a sip from Sam's cup, and ran a hand through his hair. Castiel watched with interest, at the small touches that they shared. He was normally so wrapped up in Dean that he never noticed their relationship. "So, what's going on? Are we planning something for Dean in secret?"

"Not exactly," Sam looked at Castiel again, his guard clearly still up. "What was he thinking?"

Castiel felt uncomfortable now. He wasn't quite sure why Dean had gone into attack mode when he had seen Sam. It made no sense.

"I'm not sure why he did it, he didn't let me in that far."

"What's going on?" Becky interrupted. Sam told her as quickly as he could, and turned back to Castiel before Becky could ask questions of her own.

"How far did he let you in?"

"It was jumbled. All I knew was that he was trying to kill you. I just don't know why."

Sam pushed a hand through his hair, and Becky cuddled into his side, as though she could protect him from Dean.

"It makes no sense. Was this what Gabriel meant by him being an asset to Heaven? He'd do some self-righteous smiting like a puppet?"

Castiel could feel his heart hurting at Sam's words. As much as he'd hated Dean and Gabriel's bargaining, he hadn't considered that would be the way his future husband was being manipulated. There had to be something more to it than Dean just becoming a tool of Heaven.

"Maybe we should go and ask Dean?" Becky asked into the silence. "That's probably the best way to find out what he was thinking."

"What if he attacks Sam again? I couldn't live with that, and he wouldn't live with that."

"It might be all we have. We'll all take an angel blade, even if it slows him down for a second. That might be all we need. Cas, you're going to have to use your powers on him."

Castiel couldn't believe Sam was asking that of him, after everything that had happened when they first began dating. But he nodded regardless, because Sam's safety was important.

Sam stood up, and headed for his rucksack, that he had clearly already packed for the hunt. He pulled a blade out for Becky, and one for himself, and looked at Cas, who withdrew his own one from up his sleeve.

"Okay. Remember, we're not trying to kill him. We're just trying to reason with him. I realise that, with Dean, that's probably the same thing."

He placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder, and Becky slipped a hand into on of Castiel's, and he used his powers to move them back into the bunker. He transported the Impala back into the garage as well, just to be neat. The bunker was silent, and Sam raised his blade to chest level, looking around.

"Okay, keep your eyes open. Cas, if he's using his powers to sneak up on us, give us the best heads up you can, okay?"

Castiel nodded, and led their way slowly through the bunker, pushing open doors and looking for Dean. Castiel tried to use their connection to find him, but he couldn't sense Dean anywhere. Had that power only been temporary? Gabriel had spoken as though it was going to be a permanent feature in their lives. Maybe it only worked within a certain distance, but he had felt Dean in the bunker while he had been at Sam and Becky's.

Eventually, they had to give up and accept that Dean wasn't there, invisible or otherwise. They assembled in the kitchen, where Castiel cooked them dinner, and Sam and Becky discussed what they could do with Dean's current situation.

Dean reappeared when Sam and Becky were about halfway through eating their pork chops. Castiel could feel him standing against the doorframe, could hear him checking out his ass.

_'How are you feeling?'_

_'Better.'_

_'Did you want some dinner?'_

_'No, I ate already.'_

Castiel turned around, looking at him, watching as his eyebrows rose.

_'One day, I'll get used to how gorgeous you are."_

Castiel felt his cheeks burn, and he walked over to Dean, both to embrace him and to restrain him again if needed. Sam and Becky both turned in their seats, watching Castiel's progress.

_'I told them. I realised there wasn't much room for secrecy when you tried to kill your own brother.'_

Dean looked over at Sam, and his expression changed immediately. He was glaring at Sam, and Castiel tightened his hold on his arms.

_'Dean-'_

_'Why did you bring that thing here? Where's Sam?'_

_'That is Sam.'_

_'It's a demon, Cas.'_

Castiel looked at Sam as well, cocking his head to the side and frowning. He could see it, why Dean had assumed his brother was a demon in disguise. Ever since Castiel had known him, his true face had been marred, pock-marked and riddled with boils and scars. The area over his right eye seemed molten, hanging well over his eyelid. It always made his puppy dog looks seem extra pathetic, Castiel had never questioned why Dean would fold under that look.

"Okay, that's spooky," Becky broke Castiel's thoughts. "You can really hear each other?"

Castiel was still staring at Sam, debating whether he had even noticed that his true face had been invisible in the past year that he had been without a Grace, but he heard the change in Dean's thoughts as his attention was grabbed by Becky.

_'Wow.'_

_'I know, how did I not notice-'_

_'No. Becky. Is that her soul?'_

_'Oh. Yes. She's like sunshine, isn't she?'_

Dean nodded slowly, and zapped himself over to the table, sitting opposite Becky and ignoring Sam. Although it would normally make Castiel feel uncomfortable to see a rift developing between the brothers, he knew it was for Sam's sake that Dean had done it. He zapped himself into the chair beside Dean, just in case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me ages and this is all there is. Been working on my DCBB, and I wasn't happy with where this was going the first time around. Hope it's okay!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting any more of this, I got completely sidetracked! I'm determined to get it done though, I have big plans for Dean's new powers ;)

Sam was eyeing Dean warily as they sat at that small table. Castiel assumed it was after the knowledge that Dean had tried to kill him, although it may have been because Dean and Castiel were continuing their mental conversation. They hadn’t said a word out loud since Dean had appeared in the doorway, they hadn’t needed to for themselves. But Sam and Becky were both looking at them with the same judgemental expression which only highlighted the differences between their true faces. Becky’s unblemished, innocent, naive facade; Sam’s demon-blood-damaged mess of soul, both managed to convey the exact same emotion. Castiel swallowed around a lump in his throat, and made himself talk out loud. Becky and Sam deserved to hear it all.

“So, you can see people’s souls, as well as my grace?”

_You know that, Cas._

_Gabriel fused us together through our graces, Dean, Sam and Becky weren’t included in that deal. And maybe you should answer because I think Sam’s going to get annoyed._

“Yeah,” Dean grunted, shifting in his seat, hunching his shoulders together as he leaned heavily on the table, still glaring at Sam.

“And what, my soul is …” Sam frowned. “It’s complete, isn’t it? You got it all out of the cage?”

Castiel nodded.

“So, what’s wrong then? Why did you want to kill me?”

Sam gave his brother one of his most endearing expressions. Brows high, eyes wide, a slight pout to his mouth. His please-don’t-hurt-me-I’m-so-innocent face. Castiel was used to it, the way you could see one of his eyes that way, the way his jowls seemed to hang just that much further down. But clearly it was hard for Dean to take. He closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

_I don’t think I can tell them._

Dean sounded so resigned, and Castiel felt his heart thrumming in his chest. He closed his fingers around Dean’s wrist, trying to be reassuring.

“I’d never really considered it before, Sam, but … your soul is tainted. It’s probably always been that way. It has been since I’ve known you, anyway. The influence of the demon blood, it shows on your soul.”

There was a silence in the room, as Sam and Becky both processed what Castiel was telling them. Castiel could hear the hum of the fluorescent light above them as they tried to understand.

“There’s nothing you could have done, Sam. The first time Azazel fed you his blood, it started warping your soul. It took me a long time to get used to how it looked, to see past it to the good behind the damage. I didn’t quite realise … I should have known … whenever I’ve become human, it’s been easier to see the real you, I stopped seeing how the demon blood ruined you. Even when I have my powers back, I don’t see it any more.” Castiel shot a sideways look at Dean, but he knew already that he was allowed to carry on. “I should have warned Dean, prepared him for it. That’s my fault.”

There was another stretch of silence, at least in the kitchen.

_So, it’s going to get easier? Looking at Sam?_

_I hope so._

_I can’t … Cas, I practically raised him. And now he’s a mess. I want to hurt whoever did this to him._

_If it gives you comfort, Dean, you killed him._

“I haven’t had any demon blood for ages,” Sam finally spoke, his voice shaky.

“It doesn’t matter. You had some, some was enough.” Castiel rubbed his thumb across Dean’s wrist, massaging the hard knot at the top, as though he could give some comfort to both brothers with that one small action.

“I need some air,” Dean finally spoke, and disappeared from the spot before Castiel could hear him think another word. His hand dropped heavily on the table, and he looked down at it, wondering what he was meant to do now. Sam sat back in his seat, the chair protesting slightly as he did so, running his hands through his hair as he tried to deal with what was going on. Becky was biting her lip, watching Sam avidly.

“What’s he thinking?” Sam asked, his hands full of his hair.

“That he wanted to hurt Azazel all over again.”

Sam nodded slowly, and tipped his head far back.

“He’s accepting that it’s you, that’s a step forward,” Castiel pushed on, hoping he wasn’t making the younger Winchester angry. “There’s a lot more to him becoming an angel than he really considered. Than I even thought about.”

“It’s not your fault, Cas,” Sam sounded distant, thoughtful, and Castiel could tell how upset he was. “You didn’t want this either.”

“So, what happens now?” Becky interrupted quietly. Castiel wasn’t sure what could happen, he had no idea where Dean had gone. Sam sat up and looked at her, trying to smile, his eyes full of tenderness.

“I guess we try and get him used to me, and hope this doesn’t cause more problems.”

“I’ll keep talking to him,” Castiel reassured him. Sam nodded slowly, still looking at Becky.

“Can you try and do it out loud if we’re around? It was kind of freaky, how quiet you were.”

Castiel nodded, and Sam slowly stood up and stretched, before turning to Becky.

“Maybe we should go home, give Dean a chance to get used to being an angel.”

“Couldn’t we stay here? I mean,” Becky looked quickly at Castiel, before returning her attention to her husband. “When Dean comes home, isn’t it better if he gets used to how you look like to him now? I don’t want him to forget and threaten you every time we see him.”

Sam stroked her hair back, behind her ear, cupping her face gently.

“I don’t either. But I think with his new powers, and the wedding planning and everything … maybe he’s just not ready for us right now.”

He gave a small, sad smile, and Castiel felt awful. No one pointed out that when Sam said ‘we’, he was clearly talking about himself. He obviously needed the comfort of including Becky in Dean’s sudden aversion to him. They stood together, and Castiel followed them through the bunker, wishing that they weren’t leaving him. Sam helped Becky into her jacket, and turned back to Castiel.

“Keep us up-to-date, okay? We’ll see each other soon.”

Sam gave him a hug, squeezing him far too tightly, and Becky gave him a small peck on the cheek before they started walking up the stairs to the front door together, arm-in-arm. Castiel watched them go, feeling a little bereft. Sam and Becky didn’t want to be there, Dean had disappeared, and Castiel was at a loss as to how to go on. He did the only thing he could think of, and began doing more research for the wedding, hoping to find something he liked that Dean would agree was a safe choice.

 

*

 

Castiel had been laying on their bed, studying the ceiling tiles when he felt the shift in the atmosphere that announced Dean’s return. Dean was in another part of the bunker entirely, but his thoughts were as clear as if he were pressed against Castiel, whispering in his ear.

_Did they leave?_

_Yes. They said that they were giving you space to adjust, but I think Sam was crushed._

Dean’s thoughts were quiet, reflecting on what Castiel had proffered.

_No one blames you. Personally, I blame Gabriel._

_I guess there’s a lot for me to learn, huh?_

_I can help, you know. Isn’t that the point of a relationship?_

He heard Dean’s amusement, knew he was considering what he had once told Castiel himself.

_Where are you?_

_Bunker._

_I’m in bed._

_Okay, be there in a minute. I just want to look something up._

Dean’s thoughts went back to near silence, and Castiel felt frustrated. Had Dean already learned how to shut him out of his thoughts?

_No._

_Am I being too needy again?_

_Always, Cas._

Castiel heard the humour in the response, but no further thoughts, no more emotion from Dean.

_Where did you go?_

_You don’t know?_

_No. I think this connection only stretches so far._

_Oh. I thought it was a little less neurotic for a while._

Castiel felt hurt, by Dean’s bad joke and the fact that he wasn’t talking about what he had been doing. It was almost as though Dean was trying to push him away, trying to deal with his transformation on his own-

_Cas, please. Stop. I’m fine. I’m just trying out my powers, seeing what I can do. I came across this plant when I was out there, I just wanted to look it up. Might be good for our wedding, so long as it keeps the guests safe. That is it, okay? Don’t be that guy._

_I am that guy._

_I’ll be there in a couple of minutes, okay? And we can fool around._

It went quiet again, and Castiel assumed Dean was continuing to look up the plant he had found. At least he didn’t want an argument, not over this.

_Although make up sex is always fun._

_Don’t you have a flower to research?_

Dean zapped in on top of Castiel, straddling him, a mischievous look on his face.

_Sex with you wins._

_I’m so flattered._

Castiel rolled his eyes, but happily pulled Dean down into a kiss, his fingers knotting into Dean’s shirt as his fiancé flopped down onto him, pressing him into the mattress. Castiel listened to Dean’s thoughts, which were coming fast and muddled, overlapping each other. How beautiful Castiel was with his grace, how good their kisses felt, what he wanted to do right then. For all of Castiel’s anxieties, it was a relief to hear Dean so wild, so determined to love him. He put everything he had, every emotion he felt for Dean, into their kiss, their mouths barely able to make contact, their teeth clicking together almost violently, Dean’s breath already laboured and his own breathing catching up fast. He almost felt light headed as Dean’s fingertips grazed over his abdomen, his skin tingling from the touch, almost recoiling from the intense pleasure he already felt.

All of Castiel’s thoughts were consumed with what Dean was doing, with how good it felt, with how much he loved it when they connected like this, their bodies already so insistent that they come together as one that they barely had to think about what to do anymore. Dean was pouring adoration onto him, covering his entire body with sloppy kisses, working his way down to Castiel’s cock. And then he got a flashback, to Gabriel talking about how much Dean loved giving head, and he froze. He couldn’t do this, as much as he wanted it, as amazing as it felt to have Dean’s hot breath and skilled tongue cover him, teasing all his nerve endings. What if Gabriel was still watching, somehow getting off on the idea of their love making?

_I don’t care. It’s kind of hot._

_I do, Dean. This should be private, just for us._

_He told you he wouldn’t watch._

_It’s still Gabriel._

There was a moment while Dean considered this, resting his head against Castiel’s stomach.

_I can’t go without sex with you._

_I don’t want to go without sex with you._

_So what do we do?_

Castiel had no answers.

_And for the record, I only like giving you head. You taste like pie._

_Not dick pie again._

_Totally dick pie again. They need to make banana cream lube._

_How is that both disgusting and erotic?_

Dean started laughing loudly, taking over his whole body, making the bed shake.

_Admit it, you want to taste my banana cream dick too._


	8. Chapter 8

Castiel watched Dean closely over the next few days, and it seemed as though the hunter was made to have a grace. Maybe it was Dean's penchant towards being lazy when he wasn't on a case, or the few extra hours he had within the day that now wasn't dedicated to sleep. Or maybe it was Dean's natural inclination to garnering attention that made him want to transport himself everywhere without walking, or make things materialise out of nowhere for Castiel to marvel at.

Although there were long stretches of time where Castiel couldn't hear his thoughts, and he knew Dean wasn't around. He had no idea where he was going or why, though Castiel suspected that his natural constant mental narrative had something to do with it. For all Dean's jokes about Castiel's neuroticism, it must have been difficult to suddenly be submerged into Castiel's active mind.

Even when they did something as mundane as watch television together, it was somewhat of a problem.

_A Monarch butterfly is simply beautiful, I love the contrast of colours on the wings. I wonder if their wings feel the same way that an angels, does? They're not made of feathers after all, but the inherent structure of them is similar. Or are we closer to that of the flight of a bird? I hope not, I like some plumage but-_

_Cas, what the hell are you saying about?_

_Sorry. Butterflies. Wings._

_Uh-huh. You know, maybe you should try meditation or something. You don't seem to take a mental breath, ever. I'm feeling dizzy. I don't even know how you got on to butterflies._

_There was one on the screen._

_Geez. Cas, you know what the point of this movie is, right? Not. Butterflies._

_I don't understand you sometimes, Dean. You've been given a grace, and with that comes a halo and wings and you have no abject curiosity to discover more about the new world you've been thrust into. If we were talking out loud and other people heard us, they would think you were the millennia-old angel and I was the recent human convert._

_Tell me about it._ Dean stood up and stretched.  _See you later._

And Dean had disappeared from in front of his eyes before Castiel could even begin to read his mind and discover where he was going.

It only took a few days for Castiel to lose his patience with Dean's absences. Of course he wanted to give his fiancé some space, but also, Dean had tried to kill his brother for the damage done by the demon blood. He was new to life as an angel. Castiel was worried sick, and unable to discover where Dean kept going without a confrontation. He waited until Dean zapped back into the bunker one evening.

_Where did you go?_

_Did you miss me?_

Dean's tone was playful, which was normally endearing but just then it left Castiel even more frustrated.

_I was worried. You haven't been hurting Sam, have you?_

_What?!_

_I don't know, Dean. You're not thinking-_

_It's not my fault that we're bonded like this, Cas. It's not my fault I don't think the way that you want me to think._

_That's not fair._

_Look, Cas,_ Dean walked into the room, folding his arms across his chest and glaring. Despite himself, Castiel's gaze was drawn to the way Dean's biceps bulged, the way his chest strained against his t-shirt.  _I never said it was fair. I already told you that you don't take a mental breath. Don't you ever need five minutes without hearing me thinking?_

_I like hearing your thoughts. I'm not trying to fight you, Dean, I just-_

_I know. I already told you, I'm testing out my abilities._

Castiel continued staring at Dean's firm chest, his muscular arms. It was easier than meeting his eyes, easier than letting himself think all the things he wanted to think that he didn't want Dean reacting to. He pictured himself tucked in Dean's embrace, safely surrounded by those arms, fully loved by the man he adored. Dean chuckled.

_Okay, I get it._ He opened his arms wide, zapping the few feet over to Castiel and pulling him close, kissing along his hairline slowly.  _I swear, Cas, there's nothing to worry about. I was kind of thinking, I can use my powers for so many things. And one of those things is our wedding._

Castiel looked up, finally catching Dean's eye, and that small, warm smile tracing his full lips. How did Dean do that? How did he say one thing to show how much he really cared when-

_No chick-flick moments._

_I love you._

_I love you too. And you don't have to act so surprised. You know I'm interested in our wedding, you know I wouldn't have proposed unless I wanted it to happen. I haven't missed any appointments or anything, have I?_

Castiel shook his head slowly.

_Good. So, I was thinking - I don't know how powerful I am - but if we could do it, there's some people I would love to come to the wedding._

Castiel got a glimpse of a picture, like an old photograph. The old photograph he knew Dean kept close at all times, of a blonde woman holding her young son, cradling her swollen stomach.

_You want to raise your mother?_

_I just … I want her there. I want her to see who I love. I want you to get to know each other. Think Gabriel would help if we asked him?_

_I think Gabriel's planning his own thing. But I would love to meet your mother._

_Good. Because I've been looking for her when I go. I found her yesterday, sat with her today and talked. It was good, Cas. So great to finally talk to my mom again. And I want her to meet Sam. It just sucks I didn't get her to his wedding._

_I didn't even think about that. Getting her to come to Sam's wedding._

_It's fine, Cas. Want to come meet her?_

Castiel felt nervous. He had heard so much about Mary Winchester, from the other angels as well as Dean. Meeting her was as intimidating as if he were to come face-to-face with God once again. Everything that was good about Dean, all his compassion and empathy and urge to protect, it all came from her.

_It'll be fine. I'll be there too._

Dean kissed him gently on the mouth, and stepped back for a moment, and instantly they were on a plane of Heaven that Castiel wasn't familiar with. He looked around, at the abundance of wild flowers around them, the trees that pointed high into the sky, too far to see where they ended. And at one end of the overgrown garden, half hidden by a large rose bush, sitting on a white painted wooden swing, was Mary. She watched them approach, her eyes firmly on Dean, raking over his face with a hunger that Castiel understood well. It was hard not to look at Dean that way.

"You only just left, Dean," she smiled warmly. Though Castiel could tell that she was trying to sound stern, to discourage her eldest son, it was obvious that she wasn't mad, that she was ecstatic to have her child back with her.

"I know, Mom. But I, um, I wanted to introduce you to Castiel."

Dean gestured at him, as Mary frowned slightly, and Castiel realised that she had no idea who he was meant to be.

_I didn't know how to bring you up._

_I'm not mad at you, Dean. It's just strange, to be in Heaven and have someone in front of me who's unaware of my notoriety._

_Oh yeah, the bad boy angel thing._

_Apparently, I was corrupted._

_And it was fun to do._

Castiel realised that they were descending into their mental discussion once again, and accidentally leaving Dean's mother out of the discussion. He stepped forward, hand held in front of himself to shake with hers, and offered a small smile.

"It's an honour to meet you, Mrs Winchester."

She shook his hand, holding his fingers gently.

"Hello, Castiel." She looked between the two of them for a moment. "So, are you responsible for my son's sudden ability to come and visit me?"

It felt like an accusation rather than gratitude, at least to Castiel. He looked at Mary Winchester's shoulder, rather than her face.

"No, my brother Gabriel is. Although he used some of my grace to create Dean's."

"But he wouldn't have done that without you having some significance?"

Mary might not have known who he was supposed to be to Dean, but she was incredibly perceptive. Castiel felt put on the spot, the weight of having to explain to Mary exactly who he was and why he wasn't at fault for Dean's current predicament was bearing down on his shoulders to a point where he could feel the physical change, the slump in his posture.

_It'll be okay, Cas._

_It's your mother, Dean._

Dean's mental track seemed to splutter at that, as though he wanted to respond but wasn't quite sure how. Castiel could hear how much he appreciated his awareness of just how much Mary meant through the mental jumble of thoughts. He tried to pull himself together and give her a reasonable explanation.

"You're right, I was Gabriel's motivation for conducting the spell, but it was decided between Dean and him. Dean has a mind of his own."

"What are you not telling me?" She folded her hands gently onto her lap, looking poised and together, a complete contrast to how Castiel felt. And she was so aware, so clued in to the fact that Castiel was being evasive. Because if Mary didn't like him he wasn't sure what was going to happen; Dean certainly wouldn't be with anyone Mary didn't like-

_Cas, stop it. She'll love you. You're a loveable dork. Like a puppy that can walk on its hind legs and recite complex algebra._

Castiel wished he shared Dean's optimism. He would never end up having to introduce himself to Castiel's mother.

_Do you even have a mother?_

_That's not the point._

"I'm the angel who pulled Dean from hell. He's the human who has shown me worth in humanity."

Mary continued to stare at him, and he continued to focus entirely on her shoulder.

"We- we've grown closer since I retrieved him from the pit." Castiel's mouth felt dry, even as Dean placed a hand on his shoulder, and finally came to his rescue.

"Mom, Sam and me, we owe a lot to Cas. A lot of angels out there are dicks, but not him."

She continued to watch them, and Dean slowly slid his arm around Castiel's shoulders, holding him with a tight grip. And then Dean bit the bullet.

"We started going out, about sixteen months ago. Got engaged a couple of weekss ago. And we want you at our wedding."

Mary's expression didn't change.

_She knew you were going to say something like that._

_I don't think so. She's waiting for the rest of it._

_The rest of what?_

_How I ended up an angel._

Castiel sighed, and tried to piece it together for Mary. While omitting certain facts, like that week he kept wiping Dean's memory in the belief it would help their relationship.

_Yeah, she wouldn't like to hear that._

"When Dean and I first started seeing each other, I lost my powers. Gabriel just gave me them back, but I didn't want to be different from Dean. And Gabriel wouldn't consider taking them away again, and he and Dean decided that if we were going to be the same, that maybe Dean should become an angel too."

Mary's response was to press her lips into a thin line. Dean's grip tightened on his arm.

"Mom, it's fine. I know what I'm doing. Cas is … you'll see. We're going to get you back for our wedding. You will come, right?"

She finally looked away from Castiel, and her expression softened as she turned to Dean.

"If that's what you want, Dean. It's nice to see you happy."

Dean let go of Castiel's shoulder, leaving just an echo of sensation there, as he stepped forward to hug his mother, promising to see her again soon before turning to Castiel and jerking his head with a smile. He clapped a hand on Castiel's shoulder, and a moment later they were back in the bunker, Castiel collapsing into a heap on the floor.

"Cas?"

_She hates me._

_No she doesn't._

_She does. Even though she's been gone a long time, it's like she doesn't like someone taking her baby boy away from her._

Dean kneeled down in front of him, caressing his hair with one hand while stroking his bicep with the other.

_Babe, I don't know what's going on with your self-esteem these days-_

_It's not my self-esteem, Dean. I could sense the hostility. She hates that you've changed yourself for me._

_Then you have that in common._

Dean sat beside him, and held him tightly.

_Even if she's not sure now Cas, she'll change her mind. When you're not overthinking everything, you're one of the best people I know. She'll see that. And if not then … she'll just have to come around to the fact that I love you and we're getting married._

_I don't want to come between you._

_You won't do that. You're not trying to do that. And if being in your head for the last week hasn't put me off, then my parents lack of approval isn't going to chase me away either. It's meant to be for better, for worse, right?_

Castiel looked up, turning his head to look at Dean, taking in every millimetre of his perfect skin and slight stubble and his full lips and slightly crooked nose and that fine dusting of freckles and those warm green eyes that all sat together in the most glorious face Castiel had ever known.

_Dude, have you seen your face? Or your vessels face?_

_I told you before, no._

_Well, trust me, I get a hard-on just looking at you too. You're indescribable, Cas. You're all those big, flowery words that I never want to use but kind of feel perfect to describe you._

Castiel leaned forward, and caught Dean's mouth with his own. The kiss was a lot more gentle than their normal trysts, slow and steady with barely a hint of tongue. Reassuring. It didn't undo how Castiel felt the meeting with Mary Winchester had gone, but it reaffirmed everything about his relationship with Dean. It didn't matter what form either of them were in, or how far along with their wedding preparations they had gotten; he and Dean were bonded for life.

_For eternity, Cas._

_And that doesn't scare you?_

_It scares the crap out of me. Doesn't stop me knowing it's right. We'd better get on with getting the wedding sorted out. Think there's a cake tasting tomorrow. And then maybe afterwards … we could go see Sam and Becky? I promise not to attack Sam._

_I know you wouldn't. I trust you. And it's Sam._

_And it's Sam._


	9. Chapter 9

The cake tasting had gone well, and Dean had been less stringent about the wedding cake than he had been in the planning so far. Castiel had heard Dean’s brief thought that their angelic powers would be enough to protect their guests, and he had forced himself not to think contradictory thoughts and keep his opinions to himself. Dean had shot his a filthy look that implied he knew exactly what Castiel was avoiding thinking, but the effect was marred by Dean’s cheeks bulging with cappuccino cake.

Dean was still in love with having new powers, even if he seemed to appose the mental connection they now had somewhat. He was happy to zap about everywhere, and had dragged Castiel along on a case involving a demon that wrapped up so quickly, he didn’t even bother to change into his FBI suit.

_Demons are so ugly_ he had informed Castiel smugly after smiting the moment they made contact with the demon. It had been posing as a postal worker, and hadn’t had the chance to do much more than stare in horror at Dean’s new angelic visage before Dean’s hand was on its forehead, and the demon got roasted.

_There’s more to life than looks_ Castiel had reminded him.

_You would say that, you’re hot_ Dean had grinned back.

_Need I remind you that Sam’s face has been marred by demon blood? Is he ugly?_

_Sam’s not a demon, he doesn’t count_

Castiel sighed, and stopped trying to argue. Dean hated to be wrong.

_Because I never am._

_Of course not. Are we going to see Sam and Becky now?_

_One more stop off first._

Dean whisked them away again before Castiel could attempt to read his mind and find out where he wanted to go. He found himself in a diner, the decor a duck egg blue and everything rimmed with chrome. In a booth across the room, he could see Dean’s father with a younger version of his mother. John looked up as they approached, and broke into a smile when he saw Dean. He stood up and embraced his eldest son, slapping him on the back as he did so. Castiel, who had heard nothing but bad about John Winchester, was dumb-founded.

“Sam’s still alive, isn’t he?” John asked immediately.

“Yeah. I am too, I think. I um, I kind of became an angel.” Dean sounded sheepish. John let go of him and looked at him seriously, his eyes flickering up and down, back and forth as he surveyed his eldest son.

“You did. How? If you’re still alive?”

Dean took a deep breath, and Castiel stepped back slightly. He did not want to be within arm’s length of John Winchester when he reacted violently, as he was likely to do. Dean stuttered his way through an explanation, from John’s last request to saving Sam’s soul by selling his own, all the way to proposing at Sam’s wedding. Castiel waited for the inevitable fall out.

“Sam’s married, huh?” John nodded. “That boy was never as in love with hunting as he was about having a family.”

“Yeah. It still freaks me out that it’s with Becky, but he seems happy. And we still hunt together.”

“Good. And you got rid of Azazel too. You’ve done me proud, Dean. So, where’s your Cas?”

Dean took a deep breath in, and out, and then gestured behind himself to where Castiel was standing, one hand ready to grab his angel blade if he needed to. John looked at him for what felt like an eternity, before lurching forward and pulling him into a hug. Castiel had no idea what to do, it was the last thing he was expecting, especially after Mary’s reaction to the news. Everything was backwards. John was supposed to hate him, to fill the air with misogynistic rhetoric. Mary was meant to be nurturing, accepting and welcoming.

“Well, I gotta say, I always wondered. So, you’re an angel, huh?” John pulled away, and held Castiel at arm’s length. Castiel nodded, completely confused as Dean explained just how he had become an angel as well, how they were going to use their power to ensure Mary and John could be at the wedding.

“Your mother?” John asked softly, and looked back at the version of Mary he’d left in the booth, who was still talking to an imaginary John the way she had the first time around. He looked back at Dean with an optimistic gleam in his eyes. “Son, you can do that?”

“I’m pretty sure. I mean, Zachariah raised Adam once … um,” Dean looked shady. Castiel realised they had never had a conversation about John’s other kid. Or kids. Castiel had no idea if there were any more. And Castiel didn’t think that John was aware that Dean knew about Adam.

“It’s okay, Dean. Zachariah came here once, confronted me about Adam. I know you know. I’d love to be at your wedding, kid.”

Dean looked relieved, and John laughed openly.

“What did you think, Dean?”

“That you would kick both our asses.” Dean admitted. John shrugged.

“I did what I had to do to protect you and Sam. I was scared a lot that I was going to lose both of you as well. But look at you, you’re an angel, and Sam’s married … maybe I didn’t completely screw you both up.”

“Th-thanks.” Dean still looked how Castiel felt, completely thrown by John’s good humour, but he rallied quickly. “We’re going to see Sam and Becky now, actually. But I wanted to let you know first.”

John gave another grin, patted Castiel’s shoulder, and gave Dean another brief hug before returning to the Mary in his memories. Castiel was the one to return them to earth, not far from Sam and Becky’s house.

_That was weird._

_I really expected him to scream at the both of us. I suppose his Heaven of dates with Mary has mellowed him out._

_Maybe._

_I suppose we’ll see in the build up to the wedding. Are you ready to see Sam?_

_Yeah. But can you not mention that we’ve gone to see Mom and Dad? I don’t think Sam would be happy about it. He’d probably look for some way to stop us bringing them back._

_Hopefully he’ll surprise us, like John did._

_Let’s not take any chances. Wanna zap in and surprise them?_

Dean grinned wickedly, and the next moment they were in Sam’s living room. Becky screamed the second they materialised, and Sam rolled his eyes.

“Can we have a rule where you don’t phase into our house?” he put down the paper he’d been reading, as Becky began to gasp. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Becky panted, holding a hand against her chest, bending over as she slowly got her breath back. She straightened up and looked at Castiel. “Do you want a drink?”

“Beer,” Dean answered automatically. “For both of us.”

Becky slipped out of the room, and Castiel sat on the sofa, as Dean eyed his brother warily. Sam looked back with a similar expression.

“Are you deciding whether to attack me again?” Sam asked bluntly.

“No. I’m trying to see you in there.”

Sam nodded, gesturing to the seat beside Castiel as Becky came back in with their drinks. Castiel did a double take as she bent over the table, putting the bottles onto coasters. There was something different about her, the way her soul glowed had changed. He stared at her as she settled into the armchair opposite Sam, smiling warmly at him.

“So, how’s the wedding planning going?” She asked. Even the tone of her voice had altered, had become happier. Castiel hadn’t even thought that was possible.

_You don’t think …_

Dean, infuriatingly, didn’t finish his sentence. Castiel looked at him, but Dean was still looking at Sam. Maybe it wasn’t about his mental commentary on Becky at all, but rather Sam’s true face. Perhaps Dean was coming up with a solution for the state of Sam’s soul. Whatever he was thinking, he didn’t say it out loud, but responded to Becky’s question instead.

“Okay. We finally picked a cake, and we’re getting closer to picking flowers. We were thinking of looking into sacred ground for the wedding as well. Not just a church, a site that would prevent demons from coming near. Like Shiprock, or Chaco Canyon or something.”

“So, New Mexico?” Sam checked.

“Yeah, is that a problem?”

“Of course not,” Sam smiled. “When’s the wedding?”

“Hopefully in about six months.”

Sam and Becky swapped a meaningful look with each other.

“We could drive down,” Becky said quietly.

“What’s going on?” Dean demanded, as Castiel resumed looking at Becky, studying her, looking all over her soul to … oh.

_What?_

_She should tell you._

_That’s not annoying at all._

_You literally just did it to me Dean._

Becky swapped another look with Sam, beaming hugely, and completely oblivious to the mental debate that Castiel and Dean were having.

“Well, we didn’t want to step all over your engagement, and it’s really early days,” Becky couldn’t hold in her excitement. “Sam?”

They turned together to look at Sam, who smiled nervously. Castiel knew he was anticipating Dean’s teasing after the news.

_Would I do that?_

_It’s Sam. Last time I had to call him, I had to listen to you on his answerphone, trying to do his voice, pretending he wore bras under his shirt._

Castiel heard him mentally weigh the situation, and agree that yeah, he probably would be teasing Sam.

_Especially if Becky’s about to say that she’s allowed to come hunting with us. I suppose it would keep you company when Sam and I do the groundwork._

_That’s not her news._

_Good, because she’s not coming._

_I don’t think she could._

Castiel was aware that Dean was now giving him the stink eye, and he tried to remain neutral, filling his head with a hymn that he used to listen to all the time so that Dean wouldn’t work it out.

“They’re talking in their heads again,” Sam informed Becky as he caught his brother’s expression. “We’d better hurry it up.”

“You tell them,” Becky squeaked. “I don’t think I could!”

Sam crossed the room and sat on the arm of her chair, reaching an arm around her to rub her bicep gently, stroking her hair back with his other hand. It was still so strange, but somehow refreshing, to see Sam be that tender with Becky.

“Okay, well … we were going to wait a little while to tell you, but you probably already know. Can angels tell?” Castiel nodded, despite the silent question mark in Dean’s mind. Sam took in both their expressions and carried on. “Okay, so, even though you both know already-”

“Dean hasn’t worked it out yet. I haven’t told him.” Castiel interrupted smugly.

_Ass kisser._

_You love when I kiss your ass._

Dean mentally rolled his eyes, even as the image came to him of Castiel kissing absolutely every inch of him within reach. Castiel tried to cross his legs discreetly, and focused on Sam and Becky.

“We’re pregnant!” Sam finally announced, and then looked flustered. “Well, I mean, Becky’s pregnant, but I mean … we’re going to have a baby!”

Dean stopped thinking about Castiel on his ass, and looked at Becky’s stomach. She put a hand there tentatively.

“The pregnancy test said … we took a couple,” she seemed bashful, obviously afraid of how they were going to react.

“Congratulations,” Castiel smiled warmly, taking Dean’s hand. Dean squeezed his fingers hard.

“A baby Winchester?” He said weakly. Sam gave a surprised laugh.

“Yeah! I guess we’re not so cursed after all.”

“Have you warded the house? You wanna keep the kid safe.”

“Dean, it was warded when Becky and I started going out. Nothing’s going to happen to our baby. Can … can you see them?”

Castiel dropped his gaze to Becky’s stomach once more, as Dean did the same. It was minuscule, hardly baby-shaped yet, but undeniably there. And Becky was glowing so much, with pregnancy and happiness and her own radiant personality.

“I see something.”

“The baby books say we won’t know the sex yet,” Becky sounded cautious, like she still didn’t trust Dean’s reaction.

“You look about four weeks gone. So, I guess it’s a honeymoon baby, huh? Sam’s definitely not a virgin any more.”

Sam shot Dean a filthy look, and Castiel scooted closer to Becky, placing a hand over her stomach although he knew he wouldn’t feel any movement. But he could feel the tiny Winchester developing, growing every moment, becoming a real baby. Its soul was already there, new and ready to soak in the world, and Becky laughed under Castiel’s touch.

“I think they like you,” she whispered. Castiel flashed her a grin. She couldn’t possibly know that, but that wasn’t the point.

“I am going to be their uncle,” he said proudly. She rested her head against his, as Dean grabbed Sam in a hug. “How’s the morning sickness been?”

“I haven’t had any yet. But I’ve had cravings already. Sam’s been great, if I wake up at four in the morning craving hash browns he’ll drive until he finds an all night diner. I’m so lucky.”

Castiel beamed at her, then stepped aside so that Dean could congratulate her. It was one of the few times Castiel had seen Dean hug her, be affectionate with her, but it looked as though he was going to take his uncle duties seriously. Castiel had a flashback, to the world his mind created when he was taken in by the siren, where Sam and Becky had twin girls, and how Dean had been as an uncle then.

_It’s only one baby._

_Doesn’t stop you from being a great uncle._

Dean let Becky go back to Sam, who hugged her tightly, caressing her hair softly.

“So, Cas and I can stay in the spare bedroom, and we’ll look after you the whole time. We can plan our wedding from here.”

“No,” Sam shook his head. “First, because the spare room is going to become the nursery. Second, because you don’t need angelic powers to protect a baby, and that’s what a husband does, Dean. So I’m going to look after my wife and my kid. Thanks for the offer, but I’m still a good hunter. Third, do you think Becky and I are going to put up with you two for eight months? You remember when you first came here and had impossibly noisy sex? All the time?”

“Yeah, Cas is still loud,” Dean laughed good-naturedly. “And I know you’re a great hunter, Sam. Best out there, after me. I’m still worried about my niece or nephew.”

“I know. But you still can’t stay here. I bet you don’t even sleep any more.”

“Not like I did much in the first place,” Dean shrugged. “Fine. But we’re visiting, in between hunts and wedding crap, okay?”

_I do wish you wouldn’t call it wedding crap._ Castiel interjected.

_Sorry. You wanna go check out those sacred sites?_

_Now?_

“We’re gonna go,” Dean told his brother as he slipped his arm around Castiel’s waist. “Congratulations, guys.”

They said their goodbyes, Dean even bending down to say goodbye to the baby, and then they used their angelic powers to go to New Mexico. They looked at the huge red rock that pierced the sky in front of them, and Castiel thought over Sam and Becky’s news. He was going to be an uncle. He never imagined he’d ever end up one of them.

_Maybe we could angel magic a baby of our own?_ Dean grabbed him by the hips, pulling him close, their groins just grazing against each other. It was far more erotic than an obvious thrust, and Castiel’s stomach bubbled up hot and demanding at the contact.

_It’s not physically possible, Dean._

_Or is it? Want to desecrate sacred ground to find out?_

Castiel shook his head in exasperation, but allowed Dean to lean forward, kissing his neck gently. He zapped them away from the area, just in case they did desecrate it, and found somewhere more discreet, along a mountain range in Death Valley. Their clothes disappeared, and Dean started stroking down Castiel’s body, touching him with possessive caresses as his lips grazed the sensitive stretch of skin along his neck. Castiel arched his neck as he lay back against the sun-blistered dirt, and palmed his hands into Dean’s hair, holding his head in place as he swirled his tongue between Castiel’s collarbones. Dean’s body was already picking out a natural rhythm, sliding against Castiel, his legs sliding between his lovers and prising them apart, their groins tracing each others, their erections touching and sending jolts of desire through Castiel’s body. He made sure they were invisible to everyone who might stumble upon them, and hoped with every molecule of concentration he could spare that Gabriel was not watching them have sex. Because this time, they were going to. Castiel couldn’t go for much longer without Dean’s confident, insistent touch.

They didn’t linger with foreplay, Dean clearly needing the closeness as much as Castiel did. He hooked his hands underneath Castiel’s hips and pulled him up, before beginning to thrust into Castiel, taking it slowly so there was no chafing. Castiel strained to get some lube to materialise, to ease them along. When Dean felt it slick along the tip of his penis, he stopped being so gentle, bracing himself above Castiel as they crashed together, over and over. Time seemed to slip away, the sun set and the stars came out, and still, Castiel and Dean moved together, stuck in each other, lost to the rest of the world while they existed in this moment. Eventually, Dean tired, and collapsed onto Castiel, teasing the locks of his hair between his fingertips. Castiel lay underneath his welcome weight, and embraced every molecule of their beings that touched.

_Are you angel pregnant yet?_ Dean wondered lazily. Castiel felt himself smile, before zapping them back to their bed, and cuddling into his man.

_I don’t think so, Dean._


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know season 12 started last night ... I haven't yet seen it (trying to get a drop box going because streaming sites are awful) so ... well, I'd argue that I'm not influenced by season 12 at all (yet) but I know people might not believe me. And that's fine, because so far as I know Mary and Cas get along already on the show.

_I worked it out,_ Dean announced proudly, after once again spending time away from Castiel. He looked up from his cellphone reluctantly, to see his future husband standing in the entrance to the bunker, leaning against the wall and smirking proudly. It made his features seem boyish and mischievous and- _Perve on me later, Cas. For now, revel in my angelic genius._

“Hey, Castiel!” A far too familiar voice interrupted Dean’s big reveal, and Gabriel appeared from behind Dean, striding across the room and slinging himself into a chair with a familiarity that implied he visited often. It set Castiel’s teeth on edge, the hairs all over his body raising. Dean rolled his eyes.

_I told him not to make a big entrance, to wait for me._ Dean seemed resigned. Castiel felt an unexpected hurt, that Dean had been visiting Gabriel and getting his assistance and not discussing whatever this was with him. _Cas, it’s not like that. You know it’s not like that._

_Is he still watching us have sex?_

_I didn’t ask. I didn’t want to know._

_Just so you know, I can hear you both. Archangel-in-primo-position perks. Did you pick Death Valley because you like getting sand up your ass?_ Gabriel smirked at Castiel in a way that made him feel nauseated. _And Dean, don’t take all the credit. I’m kind of looking forward to this. Watching the family reunion. Seeing two lovers reunited after years apart, not even death standing in their way._

Dean and Castiel gave him the same appraising look. Gabriel really didn’t seem like the type to like mush.

_Oh what, I can’t make some Casa Erotica and then curl up and watch some Drew Barrymore goodness?_

Castiel and Dean shot each other a sceptical look, and Dean shook his head as though to clear his mind of the way the conversation was going.

_With Gabe’s juice, and my connection to Mom and Dad, we can easily bring them back. We have._

Castiel’s eyebrows rose, and he looked around for his future in-laws, as Dean leaned his head back.

“Mom?”

And there was Mary Winchester, walking down the wrought iron steps of the bunker, holding the bannister and looking around the main meeting room with curiosity.

“Dean? What is this place?”

“Men of Letters bunker. Grampa Winchester was a MOL, Sam and I kind of inherited the place. You’ll love it, Mom. It’s warded like crazy, and there’s information on all kinds of creatures. There’s an eight-hundred page study on transexual werewolves somewhere.”

“I’d read that,” Gabriel interjected. “Niche kink or what?”

Mary shook her head, smiling slightly. Apparently, she was already used to the way Gabriel acted, and found it frustrating-yet-adorable. Castiel couldn’t help the stab of jealousy, even though he knew Gabriel and Dean were aware of every thought, every emotion that he possessed.

“Gabriel, I don’t think it’s meant to be a kink. More like animal husbandry.”

“You can find kinks anywhere,” Gabriel winked at her, still sprawled across the chair. “Can’t you Cas?”

He could hear Gabriel thinking of one of his trysts with Dean, could see almost a birds eye view of them in the throes of passion. It was undoubtedly hot, but not the image that Castiel wanted in his mind when his future mother-in-law was now turning to look at him, a wary expression in her eyes. He swallowed, and made himself smile at her.

“Hello, Mary. I’m glad it worked.”

She gave a small nod, and turned to Dean.

“Where’s Sam? You said he inherited this bunker too?”

“Uh, yeah. He moved into Becky’s house when they got married.” Dean shrugged one shoulder, as Mary continued to look at Castiel, who was still being inundated with images of himself with Dean in various positions. How long had Gabriel been watching them? “We’ll go visit them soon.”

“I’d like that.” Mary spared her eldest son a smile, before eyeing Castiel apprehensively again. What was it he was meant to have done?

“Mom, Gabriel and I have to do one more thing. We’ll be back in a minute.” He smiled at her. _Cas, make her a drink. She takes creamer and one sweetener in her coffee._

And then he and Gabriel were gone, leaving Castiel with Mary, and an awkward silence. He stood up, her gaze never leaving him.

“Would you like a drink?” He tried to sound polite. He wanted to make the effort with Mary, to find a mutual ground with her. She said nothing, but drifted towards a nearby bookshelf, scanning the spines for a title that might catch her eye. Castiel shuffled into the kitchen anyway, making her a coffee the way that Dean had told him, hoping it would appeal to her somehow. He didn’t know what he was supposed to have done, why she seemed to dislike him the way that she did. She hadn’t known who he was, what he had done in the name of helping her sons. She seemed to like Gabriel well enough, despite his propensity for vulgarity. So what was wrong with Castiel?

 

*

 

Castiel had given Mary her coffee, which she had left on the table, untouched, while she read one of the books on witches. Castiel had no idea what to do when his mother-in-law-to-be was ignoring him so blatantly, so he decided to do some wedding prep, and began going through all the notes and lists that they had drawn up so far. Fortunately, the silence didn’t last for too long before Dean and Gabriel returned.

_Honey, we’re home!_

_I have never called Cas honey. Ever._

They appeared in the room together, Gabriel crashing into the seat beside Castiel as Dean stood near his mother.

“Hey Mom. So, um, you’re not the only person I wanted to bring back for my wedding. Our wedding,” he flashed a smile at Castiel, who looked up from his wedding notes just in time to catch it. “I want all the important people in my life there. I’m still looking for some people, but … well,” he turned towards the door opening. “You wanna come in?”

They all watched the doorway, as John slowly walked into the room. He spared a small smile for Castiel, before his eyes locked onto Mary. She was staring back at him.

“John?”

“Mary?”

There was another pause, and Castiel felt like his entire being was waiting to see how they would reunite. He could hear Dean’s excitement, could feel it making his own heart flutter.

“You … you look good,” John breathed.

“Thank you. How long have our boys been without you?” Mary still sounded guarded.

“Sam was twenty-three. Dean was dying, I did a deal with Azazel to save him.”

Mary’s expression softened, and she held her arms out, which John fell into straight away. Dean was a bundle of elation, but Castiel felt even bleaker. Mary loved Dean, she liked Gabriel, and she had forgiven John. He stood up, leaving the plans for the wedding alone, and zapped himself out of the bunker, instantly appearing a moment later on a hidden mountainside, the rock face severe, but dotted with flowers and small patches of grass. He cupped his face in his hands and sighed heavily, before allowing himself to acknowledge the idea that he couldn’t let himself think in front of Dean. That for all he had heard of Mary Winchester, as loving and giving a mother as she was, she was bigoted. Homophobic. It was the only explanation Castiel could come up with. She had never foreseen her child falling for another man. It didn’t matter how well Castiel treated her, how much he tried to engage, he had the wrong vessel.

Dean appeared beside him, already sliding his hand into Castiel’s, resting his head against Castiel’s shoulder.

_How did you find me?_

_Gabriel. Is everything okay?_

Castiel sighed.

_I don’t know, Dean. You left to get John and she didn’t even talk to me. I’m not holding out for universal popularity, but-_

_I know. I’m sorry Cas. I was so excited about having Mom and Dad back, I didn’t even think … it’ll work out. Somehow. You’re my family, Cas, they’re going to have to accept that._

Dean pressed a gentle kiss against his temple.

_So … you come to this place a lot?_

_Yes. I come here to think._

_It’s nice. Bit scary all the way up here, but the view’s good._

Castiel couldn’t make a coherent thought for the way his heart swelled just then, the gratitude he felt towards Dean, and the way he was understanding right then of what Castiel needed. Something unspoken was drifting between them, and Castiel wanted to hold onto it, for as long as possible.

_I don’t want to stop at Mom and Dad. For our wedding._

Castiel had been anticipating something like this from Dean. He had lost a lot of people he cared about, in the fight to keep Sam and Castiel alive. He wouldn’t be the Dean that Castiel loved so much if there wasn’t that much unconditional compassion from him.

_Bobby?_

_Yeah. And my grandparents, and Jo and Ellen and Ash. I think I want more dead guests than living ones._

Castiel finally smiled.

_You already have more guests than I do. You don’t have to demolish the competition._

_Not a competition Cas. More people to welcome you into the extended Winchester family._

Castiel could do nothing more than look at him, his chest burning with emotion. Dean looked back with a straight face, but a touch of humour dancing in his eyes. He knew exactly what he was saying, what he was doing to Castiel, and he was relishing it.

_You gonna kiss my face off already, or you holding out on me?_

_We could fall off this ledge._

_We got wings._ Dean gestured behind him, and flapped his wings a couple of times. _I’ll catch you if you fall._

_I’m telling people you thought that,_ Castiel teased him. _They’re going to know you’re secretly a sap._

_They’ll say it was the other way around. You’re the sap in this relationship._

Dean grinned his way into a kiss, leaning close, wrapping a hand around the back of Castiel’s neck so that he had no choice but to give in to the press of lips, the pressure of tongue, the familiar way their mouths moved together, which felt like comfort and normality rather than banal routine. He rested a hand on Dean’s firm pectoral, their other hands still gripping each other. Dean pressed closer, widening their mouths, working Castiel over as though he were hungry, or desperate to be inside him. Castiel felt ready to burst with love, he couldn’t get enough of Dean. Somehow, as frantic as their kissing was beginning to get, it was nowhere near enough. He felt like he could cry; surely it wasn’t possible to love someone this much? He could feel Dean’s emotions too, competing with his own, and he felt reassured that, no matter how his parents took to them, at least he had Dean’s love.

_We should go back. Mom and Dad will be fine together, but Gabe’s still there. That could be a bad thing, especially if he decides Dad needs his just desserts or something._

_I’ll be there in a minute. I just need a little time to myself._

Dean pressed another tender kiss to his cheek.

_Don’t be too long._

Castiel waited until Dean had left again to allow himself to think. For all everyone said about Dean getting his empathy from his mother, it seemed incorrect. Dean had so much compassion, so much understanding. Or maybe it was just because he did love Castiel so much, though he barely acknowledged it even now. But Castiel knew that he wasn’t ready to return home to Mary’s frosty reception. Instead, he zapped himself to another place he would be welcomed.

Becky was home, though Sam seemed to be absent. She let Castiel in without any commentary on the lack of Winchester brothers, and led him through to the kitchen.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, pulling glasses out of a cupboard and filling them with flavoured water. Castiel took his glass as they sat opposite each other at her small white dining table.

“I think so. I’m not sure what I’m meant to tell you,” he confessed. “Dean’s working on something he wants to surprise Sam with.”

“Oh,” Becky frowned, and leaned closer. “Sam’s getting groceries, he’ll be a while. You can tell me, I promise not to tell him.”

Castiel couldn’t believe that Becky could keep a secret from Sam. She seemed to have mind-reading capabilities of her own.

“Like you and Dean don’t have any secrets from each other.”

“Admittedly, it’s harder now when we’re able to share thoughts, but you’re right, we do. Dean doesn’t know I was coming here.”

“Why are you here? I mean, I love seeing you, Castiel, but we just saw you and Dean.”

“It’s,” Castiel tried to organise his thoughts. “It’s because of Dean’s surprise for Sam. You’re probably the only person who’s going to begin to understand.”

Becky gave another frown, and Castiel took the risk.

“Dean’s using his powers to have his dream guest list for the wedding.”

“And that’s Sam’s surprise?” Becky sounded confused.

“He will be surprised, when he sees Bobby, and Jo, and Ash, and Mary, and John-”

“He’s bringing people back from the dead?” Becky looked stricken, and Castiel could understand. As much as she had enjoyed the novels, and understood Dean and Sam’s work, she was still scared by talk of death, and Hell, and demons. “Like zombies?”

“No. The same way I brought him back from Hell, the way Sam has come back before. As living and breathing as you are. Mary and John are in the bunker right now.”

Becky’s expression was almost comical, a mix of fear and apprehension, but also excitement for meeting her in-laws.

“Mary hates me,” he finally confessed. “Even John was fine with me, but Mary barely talks to me. Dean thinks it’ll sort itself out, but I don’t think it will. I think she wishes I was in a female vessel, or that Dean had picked a woman to begin with.”

Becky’s brow puckered.

“But you and Dean are meant to be together. Anyone who meets you knows that. You’re devoted to each other.”

They heard the front door open, and moments later Sam walked in clutching several bags of groceries. Becky started to stand up, but Sam shook his head.

“I got it. You need to rest up.”

“I’m pregnant, not hurt,” Becky sighed. Sam kissed the top of her head.

“And I don’t want you hurt. Or our baby. Please?”

They embraced each other for a moment, before Sam went back for the other groceries, still in his car. Castiel started helping to put the food away, under Becky’s instructions, neither of them daring to discuss Mary Winchester while Sam was in ear shot. As soon as all the bags were in, Sam started helping Castiel.

“So, why are you here without Dean?” Sam wanted to know.

“I needed to talk to someone who knew what it was like to marry into the Winchesters.”

Sam smiled, looking at Becky.

“She’s kind of an expert,” his voice had softened in a way he would never try in front of his brother.

“Married you twice,” she grinned sheepishly.

“First one was practice,” Sam riffed easily, wrapping his arms around her. Castiel put the apples and oranges into the fruit bowl, watching their moment. It was clear how much they doted on each other, how protective Sam was of their new family. And how happy Becky was to finally get to a place where she could have this with him. Castiel knew it had been all she wanted. Sam was the first of the two to remember that Castiel was still there.

“So, is this Dean-screwed-up or something else?”

“Something else.” Castiel nodded. “You’re not meant to know yet.”

Sam frowned.

“He said he didn’t want a bachelor party.”

“Oh. No, it’s nothing like that. It’s …” Castiel was unsure how to proceed. Becky responded, trying to talk around the issue so that Sam wouldn’t work it out.

“Do you know what you said about for sure?” She asked.

“It’s a feeling I get.”

“Like intuition?” Becky asked as a hand drifted down to her stomach. Sam carried on putting away groceries.

“Yes. And it’s perplexing because I was always informed it would be different, and I’m not sure how to handle this. It feels like it could cause problems.”

Becky nodded, and shot Sam a furtive look.

“I can relate.”

Castiel knew she was referring to Dean’s aversion to her, and once again he felt a tinge of pity towards her. She was one of his favourite people, and yet the man he loved didn’t accept her easily. He knew Dean would list several reasons why it had taken so long for him to be okay with Sam even dating her, let alone marrying her, and his reasons would be justified, but it amounted to the same thing in the end.

Maybe Mary and Dean were more alike than Castiel had given credit for. The thought did not give him comfort.

“But Cas? It’ll get easier. I mean, it’s not the best feeling in the world, but you have Dean. That’s not changing. That’ll make it easier. The way Sam makes so many things easier for me,” she smiled again, and Sam kissed the crown of her head as he walked past. Castiel could see her point. Sam had gone from not liking Becky, to being completely averse to her, to tentatively dating her, to now being so in love that it didn’t matter what Dean thought. Sam was with Becky. Maybe there was hope. Maybe he would never be Mary Winchester’s favourite, but he was still Dean’s, and that had to be enough.

“Thanks, Becky. We’ll see you soon.”

“Of course. Take care,” she smiled, and Sam waved as Castiel made his way back to the bunker. He needed to be with his fiancé.


End file.
